WWF Smackdown - January 20th 2000
Before I start, my version of Smackdown I am watching has some segments missing, mainly recap videos and the like. This recap will be mainly matches unfortunately. Feel free to get a refund from my public relations guy. :)
- Show opens with DX backstage. HHH praises them for destroying the Acolytes on RAW. He gives the NAO the night off. He gives Xpac a match with Test, and the winner gets number 30 in the Rumble. HHH says Cactus Jack isn't in the building.
- Usual opening video.
- The Big Show comes out in a stupid jacket and hat. Big "Rocky" chants. Show says he probably should apologise for not being what the crowd wants him to be. He says he will never be The Rock. Show says he takes time out of his day to sign peoples autographs and gets booed for it. He says he knows why the crowd boos him: because the people can never be 7 foot 2, 500 pounds. He says it drives the fans nuts they can't be as dominating as him. Show tells the crowd The Rock can't win the Rumble because he has to get past him. Show says he hates The Rock. Show calls out Rock. Rock comes out on stage. Rock begins with the usual. Rock tells Show he is the most impressive physical specimen in the WWF and yet he complains and whines. Rock says there is a lesson to be learned: When you insult The Rock, you insult the people. This leaves The Rock two choices. He could go to the back, wait till Sunday and eliminate him in the Rumble. Or he could just walk down the people's ramp and kick Show's ass all over Providence. Kane comes out with Tori. She has the mic. She says it's funny that those 2 think they are the only ones capable of winning the Rumble. She says 28 others think they can win it as well. She says only Kane can win the Rumble. He starts to walk down. HHH and Steph come out to huge boos. HHH says the one thing he hates is egomaniacs. He uses the phrase "put over". He says the fact is they are all fighting for a chance to fight The Game. He says whoever wins the Rumble will be left disappointed when HHH wins at Wrestlemania. He puts Kane, Rock and Show against each other in an over-the-top rope Triple Threat Lumberjack match. Why have Lumberjacks then? Big "slut" chants for Steph. HHH: "Don't talk about Tori like that". Heh. Rock starts talking trash to HHH and Big Show sneaks up on him and attacks. Kane attacks Big Show and Rock goes and gets a chair. He takes them both out with chair shots.
Decent opening, pretty long though. Still don't get why we need lumberjacks, they don't play into the match at all.
Match #1 - Winner gets #30 at the Rumble
Xpac vs WWF Hardcore Champion Test
They lockup and Test overpowers Xpac. He peels the protective facemask off Test. Test with a back elbow and a clothesline over the top. Xpac does the old "run away and lure opponent towards you" spot and sends Test into the steps. He tosses Test back in and they brawl. Spinning sidewalk slam gets 2 for Test. Test gets a boot on a corner charge but he responds with one of his own. He slams Xpac down and goes up for the elbow. The NAO comes down and distracts the ref while one of them knocks Test off the top. Xpac hits the X factor for 3 at 2:10. He will be number #30 at the Rumble.
Match was short but decent. *
- DX celebrate backstage.
- Steve Blackman and Al Snow walk backstage. Steve tells Al not to screw up tonight. Al makes a crack about Steve's lack of personality. Heh. So true.
Match #2
Kurt Angle and The British Bulldog vs Steve Blackman and Al Snow w/ Head
Whoa, the Bulldog. Awesome. Angle has the mic. He is talking about the mystery opponent he has at the Rumble. Nice cheap heat as he calls Providence "a depressed town." Sign: Fat Dave is a virgin. Blackman and Angle start. Blackman immediately gets Angle in the corner. Belly-to-belly by Angle. He tags in the Bulldog. Back elbow by Bulldog. He goes for the running powerslam early but Blackman escapes and hits an bicycle kick. He goes up top and hits a kick to the face for the 3 at 1:13. Wow, poor Bulldog. Snow tries to celebrate but Blackman isn't biting.
Complete squash. Man, Davey Boy fell far from his peak. His downward spiral was really sad to watch until his death in 2002. Match was a DUD.
Match #3
Matt Hardy w/ Jeff Hardy and Knockers vs Dvon Dudley w/ Bubba Ray Dudley
Dvon charges in and we are underway. Announcers say Hardy's will face the Dudley's at the Rumble in a tag team table match. Hardy hits a neckbreaker for 2. Dvon gets elbowed on a corner charge. Hardy with a scoop slam and a second rope elbow for 2. Hardy misses his own corner charge and ends up on the second rope. Dvon neckbreakers him off for 2. Dvon gets sent into the corner but he lifts Hardy to the apron when he tries a corner charge. Hardy hits a nice split legged moonsault for 2. Twist of Fate hits but Bubba Ray pulls him out of the ring for the DQ at 1:42. He sends Matt into the steps and flapjacks Jeff onto the railing. ChairshotsBubba sets up 2 tables on the concrete below the stage. Dvon has Matt. Bubba grabs him and signals for the powerbomb but Jeff hits him with a chair to break it up. He hits Bubba again and he goes crashing through one of the tables! He gets Dvon and puts him on the other one. Matt charges and lands a legdrop from the stage to Dvon through the table! That was awesome.
Match was OK, post match stuff ruled. Call the match itself 3/4*.
Match #4
The Big Bossman vs Prince Albert
So who is the face in this feud? Oh fuck, Albert has a mic. Albert says Bossman taught him a lot, but tonight the student will beat the master. They brawl to start. Big shock. Shoulderblock by Albert. Bossman escapes to the outside and tries to pull Albert out, but he kicks Bossman into the announce table. He rams Bossman's back into the ringpost and gets 2 inside the ring. More brawling. Clothesline by Bossman. And yet more brawling. Albert charges Bossman in the corner and flattens him. He slingshots Bossman's neck into the second rope. They go outside and Bossman takes out the ref. The ref calls for the DQ at 2:02. They keep fighting after the match.
Match blew of course, unless you really like punches. 1/2*
- Rock is interviewed backstage by Lillian. Rock says we have a strange situation, on one hand you have a retard, and on the other hand you have Kane. Heh. Rock says he has something the others don't: The Rockbottom and the People's Elbow. He also says they will never have the Rock's fans chanting their name. He hits the catchphrase.
Match #5
Viscera vs Crash Holly
Good god, who did I piss off to have to watch a Viscera match? Another #13 vignette plays as Viscera makes his way out. Crash is immediately tossed out of the ring. Crash comes back and tries some punches. He gets pushed away. Crash goes for a headbutt. Smooth. Viscera hits his shitty spinning heel kick. Crash gets thrown into the turnbuckle a few times. Viscera charges but misses. Crash with a springboard DDT but Viscera kicks out at 2. Crash goes up and hits a springboard dropkick. He tries again and gets Samoan Dropped. Big splash misses. Crash tries a victory roll. What an idiot. He gets powerbombed. Big splash hits this time for 3 at 2:38.
This gets *, all thanks to Crash. He bumped like a pinball for Viscera here.
Match #6
Edge vs Gangrel w/ Luna
Announcers say Edge will be a judge for the swimsuit contest. This becomes important later. They lockup. Gangrel with a cheap shot and he starts working Edge in the corner. Edge counters with a back body drop and a dropkick. They botch a Irish whip sequence but they salvage it with a nice reversal sequence that ends with a Russian leg sweep by Edge for 2. Gangrel escapes outside. Edge with a big crossbody to the outside. Luna whispers something in Edge's ear and they are talking. The rest of the divas come out and all try to convince Edge they should win the swimsuit contest. Mae Young kisses Edge and he gets counted out at 2:13.
Match was just there, the finish was stupid and I had to watch Mae Young kiss Edge. DUD
Match #7 - Over-The-Top Rope Triple Threat Lumberjack match
Kane w/ Tori vs The Big Show vs The Rock
Show and Rock brawl to start. Kane and Show begin double teaming him. Kane goes after Show. They brawl. Rock DDT's Kane and goes after Show. He lays the Smackdown. Kane and Rock try to toss Show out but he escapes. They double team Show. Big double clothesline by Show. Kane with an enziguri (!) to Show and Rock slams Shows head into the mat. Big boot by Kane onto Rock. Kane works Rock over in the corner. He tries to toss him out. Kane and Show start brawling again. Big powerslam by Show. Rock goes after Show. Rock is almost tossed out but he grabs the rope and clotheslines Show down. Kane comes off the top with a clothesline. Tombstone attempt is reversed into a Russian leg sweep. Show chokeslams Rock over the top rope. He chokeslams Kane. Rock runs back in and hits a Rockbottom. Kane clotheslines Rock out again. Show charges Kane but gets tossed out at 4:09! Pretty surprised Kane won. Bossman attacks Kane from behind and all the Lumberjacks start a mass brawl in the ring.
Decent match, short but they packed a lot in and stuck to their limitations well. Solid stuff. **
- Xpac, HHH and Steph are backstage. They congratulate him on being #30.
- HHH and Steph make their way down. HHH says the Rumble makes him think of the old Rumbles. Specifically, last years Rumble (which was shit by the way). He says it was one year ago when two best friends beat the hell out of each other. He shows footage on the titantron of Mankind vs The Rock from Royal Rumble '99 in the infamous I Quit match in which Mankind was legitimately knocked unconscious and suffered several concussions. HHH says Foley's wife and kids were sat in the front row crying. HHH says they were crying because Foley is a loser and a failure. He gives Cactus Jack a warning: Don't bring your children and wife to the Rumble because what The Rock did last year is nothing compared to what HHH will do. HHH says he will love every second of it. Jack makes his way out to a huge pop. He says HHH is right, his kids did suffer at the Rumble. He says HHH is wrong, he isn't worried about them seeing what will happen to him, he is worried they will see what Jack will do to HHH. Jack says he will have some surprises at the Rumble. He says he will turn HHH into the worlds largest pincushion on Sunday. He says his kids are watching Smackdown right now, and he doesn't want to deprive them of some action. They start brawling. HHH gets Foley on the announce table but Jack low blows him and hits a piledriver through the table! He hits HHH with a chair and celebrates to end the show. HUGE sign in the crowd: HHH SUCKS JACK'S CACTUS. Nice.
Good show with plenty of wrestling and good angle development. Although I really did not need to see Bulldog get squashed like that. Oh, and Viscera fucking sucks.
See you for the last show before the Rumble, Sunday Night HeAT from the 23rd of January.
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Saturday, 18 June 2011
WWF RAW is RAW - January 17th 2000
- Some video of Martin Luther King is shown with a Vince McMahon voiceover.
- Tonight, we get an update on Stone Cold Steve Austin.
- We recap last weeks RAW and Smackdown, including the reveal of Cactus Jack.
- Usual RAW opening video plays.
- Cactus Jack makes his way down. And the first thing he does when he speaks is mess up the word "congratulations". He "conglatulates" HHH on doing the impossible: making Mankind mad. He tells HHH he should have known there was a sick SOB deep down inside. He said when he got busted open with the ringbell, he kinda liked it, because it awoke the SOB inside him. Jack takes it to the titantron where footage is played from a HHH vs Cactus Jack match from September 1997 at MSG. Jack says after the beating he has took over the years a normal man would have stopped fighting, but he isn't a normal man. Jack says Mankind will return one day, but not for a while. Jack says he doesn't regret all the pain he has took over the years, because it made him what he is, a bad SOB. He says Sunday, he will take all of his aggression out on HHH. He says his new attire isn't a change in outfit, it's a change of mindset. He says he will kick HHH's pansy ass at the Rumble. He calls out HHH. HHH comes out on stage alone. HHH says for the last 4 days he has only thought about Cactus Jack. He admits he wouldn't have chose a street fight at the Rumble, but he says he will pull out all the stops to keep the title. HHH tells Jack as sadistic as he is, HHH can be even more evil than Jack can imagine. HHH says he figured something out: As sick as Jack is, Mick Foley hates Cactus Jack and is afraid of him. HHH says the difference between them is when Jack gets to that level of evilness, Foley resents it, but when HHH gets to that level, he loves it. He tells Jack to be afraid because he will bring it at the Rumble. Jack has a question about tonight: Will HHH get in the ring with him right now? HHH says he would love to, but then invites a few more "guests": DX. Jack goes out to meet them and a brawl erupts. The Rock comes out (complete with a music problem) but Big Show attacks him from behind. Now Show starts attacking DX, and the Acolytes run in and attack the NAO. Acolytes and NAO fight through the crowd and out of sight, Xpac runs off and Jack and HHH are brawling. HHH runs away through the crowd. That got pretty confusing at the end.
- We look back at moments ago.
Match #1
WWF Hardcore Champion The Big Bossman vs Test
This is a title match. Another #13 vignette is shown on the titantron before the match. They immediately fight into the crowd. Nothing but punches here folks. They are fighting backstage and it's pitch black. Bossman sends Test into a bathroom. Test sends Bossman through some cubicles. Someone was sitting on one of the toilets and they shout something. Back in the corridor and Test is trapped under a shutter door. Bossman gets a 2 count. Test fires back with some rights and he starts choking Bossman with toilet paper. Yes, I'm serious. They fight back into the crowd. Test gets smacked with a trashcan. Prince Albert runs in and is immediately hit with the trashcan. Bossman gets a 2 inside the ring. Bossman has the nightstick but Albert comes in and starts brawling with the Bossman. Test nails them both and throws out Albert. Test goes up top with the nightstick and hits an elbow from the top with the nightstick for 3 at 4:15 to become the new Hardcore champion. The time is a rough guess seeing as the bell never actually rung to start the match.
Typical trainwreck hardcore match, complete with really sloppy production work. 1/2*
- Backstage with DX. He puts the NAO in a match with Rock and Big Show. HHH tells Xpac they face the Acolytes.
- We see Terri backstage. My god those tits.
- Coach interviews The Bossman. He promises revenge on Albert tonight.
Match #2
The Godfather and D'lo Brown w/ Ho's vs Edge and Christian
Christian starts with D'lo. He works over Christian in the corner. Christian fires back and sends D'lo into the corner. Christian hits a hiptoss and a dropkick. Edge tags in. Spinning heel kick by Edge and a lariat. D'lo with a knee to the stomach. He tags in Godfather. Sloppy clothesline by Godfather. He hits a kick and drops a couple of elbows for 2. D'lo tags in. Edge with a Lou Thesz Press for 2. D'lo tags in Godfather. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ hit, as does a scoop slam. He goes up top and tries a splash but Edge gets the knees up. Hot tag and Christian and D'lo tag in. Crowd is DEAD. Christian hits an inverted atomic drop. Godfather comes in and gets speared by Edge. D'lo whips Christian into the apron where a ho is standing and she gets injured. Edge goes to check on her and D'lo hits Sky High on Christian for 3 at 3:51. Godfather has a mic. He gives Edge some Ho's for the night.
That sucked. Really sloppy and boring. 1/4*
- Bossman is beating on Albert backstage. He throws him into a woman's locker room and Tori is in there. Gonna guess Kane destroys Albert later.
- Tori comes into DX's locker room and wants Kane to face Albert. Steph obliges.
Match #3
Kurt Angle vs Mystery Opponent
Angle has a mic. He says tonight's opponent is a mystery but he is still confident. His opponent is...Steve Blackman. That was underwhelming. Blackman begins with some generic martial art offense. Angle with a belly-to-belly suplex. He works over Blackman in the corner. Sign: Mideon = Ratings. Angle goes for a slam of some sort but Steve escapes and they hit a double clothesline. They trade punches. Blackman with a shoulderblock. He clotheslines Angle out. Angle sends Blackman into the post. The British Bulldog comes out and hits Blackman with a kendo stick. That will get Angle a 3 at 2:18. Why Bulldog? So confused.
Match was there. 3/4*
- Coach interviews The Big Show. He says he isn't a fan of The Rock and tries to say to the fans he hasn't turned on them. He tells Rock just to let him deal with the NAO.
- We see The Kat oiling up her legs backstage. King almost has a heart attack. Well, he was banging her at the time.
- Video for The Big Show is aired.
- Terri comes to the ring. King and some divas are already in there. King says there will be a swimsuit contest at the Rumble. He interviews all the participants: Terri, The Kat, Ivory, Jacqueline, Luna (why?) and BB. Ivory tells King he is a pervert, his reaction is essentially "yeah, so?" They devolve into a fight of course. They have a dogpile. Oh god, Mae Young comes out. This is taking forever to get to the point. Then again, I don't think I want it to get that far. She begins to strip. MY EYES THEY BURN. Mark Henry covers her up before she can strip. Thank god. Thank you Mark, I am a fan for life.
- The Acolytes and HHH & Xpac are walking backstage.
- The Slam Of The Week is Test winning the hardcore title from earlier.
Match #4
WWF Champion HHH and Xpac w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs The Acolytes
Brawl to start. Steph is on commentary. Bradshaw is destroying HHH while Farooq is beating on Xpac. Xpac and Farooq are fighting in the ring. Bradshaw slams HHH on the stage. The Acolytes start beating on Xpac in the ring. Farooq and Xpac are the legal men. Farooq interrupts an Xpac crotch chop with a huge lariat. Bradshaw tags in. He misses a corner charge and gets hit with kicks. Xpac tries a heel kick but gets caught. Bradshaw takes him up top but HHH saves Xpac. Xpac tries a crossbody from the top but gets caught and fallaway slammed. Xpac with a heel kick. He tags in HHH and Farooq tags in too. Facebuster by HHH. Farooq hits a huge spinebuster and Xpac gets clotheslined by Bradshaw. The NAO run in for the DQ at 3:58. DX beat down the Acolytes.
Meh. *
- We cut to a special report by Michael Cole. He is talking about Stone Cold's surgery. It cuts to his surgeon and the poor man looks terrified at the public speaking he is being forced to do. He genuinely looks like he has been photographed having sex with a teenager, just complete terror and confusion written on his face. He kinda looks like a cross between Pat Patterson and Jay Leno actually.
- The Rock is watching a monitor backstage.
- A promo video for Rock is shown.
- DX are backstage celebrating as we look back at moments ago.
- Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. Rock hits the catchphrase to begin. He wants to talk about Stone Cold. He congratulates Austin on a successful neck surgery. He tells Austin to come back quickly. Rock says Big Show isn't a jabroni, he is a 7 foot 500 pound monkey crap. He says to Show to read his lips and he spells jabroni. He guarantees he will win the Royal Rumble and win the title. Rock says he doesn't need or want Big Show as a partner, and he wants Big Show to stand on the apron and do the one impressive thing he does: He then grunts and raises his hand. Heh. He ends with the usual.
- Jericho is warming up backstage.
Match #5
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Breasts vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley
Bubba comes charging into the ring and we are underway. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind from the top. Jeff with a nice springboard bulldog for 2. Bubba escapes to the outside and Jeff hits a swanton over the top. Jeff goes for a frankensteiner but gets reversed into a powerbomb. Bubba with the chops in the corner. Back body drop and a lariat from Bubba. Headscissors by Jeff but he gets Bubba Bombed. Breasts distracts the ref and Dvon pulls her down. Matt attacks Dvon but gets dropped on the security railing. Back in the ring, Bubba goes for a senton and misses. Jeff hits a neckbreaker and goes up top. Swanton Bomb will get 3 at 2:47. Dvon attacks Jeff after the match. The Dudleys hit a 3D on both Hardys. Bubba gets a table. Jeff gets put onto the table and Bubba powerbombs Matt onto Jeff through the table! Pretty decisive ass whooping by the Dudleys.
Match was decent while it lasted. *1/2
- The Hollys are backstage. As usual Hardcore Holly can't talk properly.
- Backstage with Chyna and The Kat. They yap about Jericho defending the title tonight against Rikishi.
Match #6
Rikishi w/ Too Cool vs WWF Co-Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho
Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho. He explains he is defending the belt because he is an honourable champion. He calls Rikishi "Rockasichi". He says he is a great dancer but for now he will have to destroy Rikishi. Jericho hits a missile dropkick. He runs into Rikishi and gets flapjacked. He rolls outside and Rikishi sends him into the steps a few times. Springboard dropkick by Jericho. He tries a plancha and gets caught and driven into the ring post. Back in, Rikishi hits the laziest powerslam I've ever seen and hits a legdrop for 2 BROTHA! Jericho tries a flying forearm and hits the ref. Belly-to-belly by Rikishi. He calls for the Banzai drop and Hardcore and Crash run in and get destroyed by Rikishi with Samoan drops. Jericho goes on the attack and gets superkicked. He goes for the Rikishi Driver but Chyna runs in and hits a low blow on Rikishi. Chyna and Y2J get double clotheslined. Rikishi hits Chyna with a belly-to-belly suplex. He goes to Banzai drop Chyna and Holly hits him with a chair for the DQ at 3:27. Too Cool run in to save Rikishi. I should note the crowd is completely dead for this. Rikishi hits a huge Rikishi Driver on Crash. Too Cool dance after the match.
Overbooked but very entertaining and it really put Rikishi over as a monster. The crowd were into him by the end of the match. *3/4
- We look back at Albert and Bossman fighting earlier.
- Weird hype video for Kane is shown to some opera music. I don't think opera when I imagine Kane chokeslamming D'lo Brown. Just saying.
- Cactus Jack and Big Show talk backstage about The Rock.
Match #7
Kane w/ Tori vs Prince Albert w/ No hope
Albert charges in and immediately gets beat down. That was smooth. Big lariat takes down Albert. Kane with elbows and kicks in the corner. Kane gets elbowed on a corner charge and Albert hits a scissor kick. Albert clotheslines Kane out but he gets his neck snapped on the top rope. Kane goes up and hits the clothesline. Kane hits the chokeslam for 3 at 1:18. Albert gets the mic after the match and tells Kane he likes to be dominated by a woman. Err, what?
Complete squash. 1/4*
- Backstage with Cactus Jack and The Rock. Jack is telling Rock he should keep as many friends as possible and Rock doesn't care.
Match #8
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs The Big Show and The Rock
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Even The Rock's pop wasn't as loud as expected. This crowd blows. The Rock immediately starts brawling with Big Show and knocks him out of the ring. That was not smart. Ass attacks Rock from behind and it's on. Dogg starts for the NAO. This is pretty much a handicap match. HHH, Xpac and Steph are on the stage on a couch. Dogg with generic brawling. Ass tags in. Rock with a neckbreaker for 2. Ass with a clothesline which the camera misses. Rock rolls outside and Dogg attacks him. Ass Irish whips Rock into Dogg for some reason and Dogg gets clotheslined. He sends Ass into the post but Dogg sends Rock into the steps. Rock is tossed back in and is pinned for a 2. Dogg with the Shake Rattle and Roll. Rock reverses into a Rockbottom but Ass breaks up the count. Ass is tagged in. "Big Show sucks" chant. Ass with a Jackhammer for 2. Goldberg is crying somewhere. Rock hits a spinebuster out of nowhere. Rock is tossed to the outside and Show attacks. He tosses Rock back in. Dogg gets a 2 count. The NAO go for a double team move but Rock counters by low blowing Dogg and slamming Ass. Show pulls Rock outside again and then begins attacking DX. Um, ref? Hello? Show with a huge powerslam to Ass. Dogg has a chair as does Rock. Rock hits Big Show with the chair. Ass pins him for 3 at 6:11. DX celebrate on the ramp. Rock hits a People's Elbow on Show while DX look on.
Pretty much a mess of a match. Hard to follow and pretty boring. 1/2*
Somewhat dull episode as they build to the Rumble. I enjoyed the Rikishi/Jericho match for what it was and seeing Prince Albert get squashed always warms my heart. But the main event blew and the production was really off for some reason. See you for the January 20th Smackdown!
- Tonight, we get an update on Stone Cold Steve Austin.
- We recap last weeks RAW and Smackdown, including the reveal of Cactus Jack.
- Usual RAW opening video plays.
- Cactus Jack makes his way down. And the first thing he does when he speaks is mess up the word "congratulations". He "conglatulates" HHH on doing the impossible: making Mankind mad. He tells HHH he should have known there was a sick SOB deep down inside. He said when he got busted open with the ringbell, he kinda liked it, because it awoke the SOB inside him. Jack takes it to the titantron where footage is played from a HHH vs Cactus Jack match from September 1997 at MSG. Jack says after the beating he has took over the years a normal man would have stopped fighting, but he isn't a normal man. Jack says Mankind will return one day, but not for a while. Jack says he doesn't regret all the pain he has took over the years, because it made him what he is, a bad SOB. He says Sunday, he will take all of his aggression out on HHH. He says his new attire isn't a change in outfit, it's a change of mindset. He says he will kick HHH's pansy ass at the Rumble. He calls out HHH. HHH comes out on stage alone. HHH says for the last 4 days he has only thought about Cactus Jack. He admits he wouldn't have chose a street fight at the Rumble, but he says he will pull out all the stops to keep the title. HHH tells Jack as sadistic as he is, HHH can be even more evil than Jack can imagine. HHH says he figured something out: As sick as Jack is, Mick Foley hates Cactus Jack and is afraid of him. HHH says the difference between them is when Jack gets to that level of evilness, Foley resents it, but when HHH gets to that level, he loves it. He tells Jack to be afraid because he will bring it at the Rumble. Jack has a question about tonight: Will HHH get in the ring with him right now? HHH says he would love to, but then invites a few more "guests": DX. Jack goes out to meet them and a brawl erupts. The Rock comes out (complete with a music problem) but Big Show attacks him from behind. Now Show starts attacking DX, and the Acolytes run in and attack the NAO. Acolytes and NAO fight through the crowd and out of sight, Xpac runs off and Jack and HHH are brawling. HHH runs away through the crowd. That got pretty confusing at the end.
- We look back at moments ago.
Match #1
WWF Hardcore Champion The Big Bossman vs Test
This is a title match. Another #13 vignette is shown on the titantron before the match. They immediately fight into the crowd. Nothing but punches here folks. They are fighting backstage and it's pitch black. Bossman sends Test into a bathroom. Test sends Bossman through some cubicles. Someone was sitting on one of the toilets and they shout something. Back in the corridor and Test is trapped under a shutter door. Bossman gets a 2 count. Test fires back with some rights and he starts choking Bossman with toilet paper. Yes, I'm serious. They fight back into the crowd. Test gets smacked with a trashcan. Prince Albert runs in and is immediately hit with the trashcan. Bossman gets a 2 inside the ring. Bossman has the nightstick but Albert comes in and starts brawling with the Bossman. Test nails them both and throws out Albert. Test goes up top with the nightstick and hits an elbow from the top with the nightstick for 3 at 4:15 to become the new Hardcore champion. The time is a rough guess seeing as the bell never actually rung to start the match.
Typical trainwreck hardcore match, complete with really sloppy production work. 1/2*
- Backstage with DX. He puts the NAO in a match with Rock and Big Show. HHH tells Xpac they face the Acolytes.
- We see Terri backstage. My god those tits.
- Coach interviews The Bossman. He promises revenge on Albert tonight.
Match #2
The Godfather and D'lo Brown w/ Ho's vs Edge and Christian
Christian starts with D'lo. He works over Christian in the corner. Christian fires back and sends D'lo into the corner. Christian hits a hiptoss and a dropkick. Edge tags in. Spinning heel kick by Edge and a lariat. D'lo with a knee to the stomach. He tags in Godfather. Sloppy clothesline by Godfather. He hits a kick and drops a couple of elbows for 2. D'lo tags in. Edge with a Lou Thesz Press for 2. D'lo tags in Godfather. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ hit, as does a scoop slam. He goes up top and tries a splash but Edge gets the knees up. Hot tag and Christian and D'lo tag in. Crowd is DEAD. Christian hits an inverted atomic drop. Godfather comes in and gets speared by Edge. D'lo whips Christian into the apron where a ho is standing and she gets injured. Edge goes to check on her and D'lo hits Sky High on Christian for 3 at 3:51. Godfather has a mic. He gives Edge some Ho's for the night.
That sucked. Really sloppy and boring. 1/4*
- Bossman is beating on Albert backstage. He throws him into a woman's locker room and Tori is in there. Gonna guess Kane destroys Albert later.
- Tori comes into DX's locker room and wants Kane to face Albert. Steph obliges.
Match #3
Kurt Angle vs Mystery Opponent
Angle has a mic. He says tonight's opponent is a mystery but he is still confident. His opponent is...Steve Blackman. That was underwhelming. Blackman begins with some generic martial art offense. Angle with a belly-to-belly suplex. He works over Blackman in the corner. Sign: Mideon = Ratings. Angle goes for a slam of some sort but Steve escapes and they hit a double clothesline. They trade punches. Blackman with a shoulderblock. He clotheslines Angle out. Angle sends Blackman into the post. The British Bulldog comes out and hits Blackman with a kendo stick. That will get Angle a 3 at 2:18. Why Bulldog? So confused.
Match was there. 3/4*
- Coach interviews The Big Show. He says he isn't a fan of The Rock and tries to say to the fans he hasn't turned on them. He tells Rock just to let him deal with the NAO.
- We see The Kat oiling up her legs backstage. King almost has a heart attack. Well, he was banging her at the time.
- Video for The Big Show is aired.
- Terri comes to the ring. King and some divas are already in there. King says there will be a swimsuit contest at the Rumble. He interviews all the participants: Terri, The Kat, Ivory, Jacqueline, Luna (why?) and BB. Ivory tells King he is a pervert, his reaction is essentially "yeah, so?" They devolve into a fight of course. They have a dogpile. Oh god, Mae Young comes out. This is taking forever to get to the point. Then again, I don't think I want it to get that far. She begins to strip. MY EYES THEY BURN. Mark Henry covers her up before she can strip. Thank god. Thank you Mark, I am a fan for life.
- The Acolytes and HHH & Xpac are walking backstage.
- The Slam Of The Week is Test winning the hardcore title from earlier.
Match #4
WWF Champion HHH and Xpac w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs The Acolytes
Brawl to start. Steph is on commentary. Bradshaw is destroying HHH while Farooq is beating on Xpac. Xpac and Farooq are fighting in the ring. Bradshaw slams HHH on the stage. The Acolytes start beating on Xpac in the ring. Farooq and Xpac are the legal men. Farooq interrupts an Xpac crotch chop with a huge lariat. Bradshaw tags in. He misses a corner charge and gets hit with kicks. Xpac tries a heel kick but gets caught. Bradshaw takes him up top but HHH saves Xpac. Xpac tries a crossbody from the top but gets caught and fallaway slammed. Xpac with a heel kick. He tags in HHH and Farooq tags in too. Facebuster by HHH. Farooq hits a huge spinebuster and Xpac gets clotheslined by Bradshaw. The NAO run in for the DQ at 3:58. DX beat down the Acolytes.
Meh. *
- We cut to a special report by Michael Cole. He is talking about Stone Cold's surgery. It cuts to his surgeon and the poor man looks terrified at the public speaking he is being forced to do. He genuinely looks like he has been photographed having sex with a teenager, just complete terror and confusion written on his face. He kinda looks like a cross between Pat Patterson and Jay Leno actually.
- The Rock is watching a monitor backstage.
- A promo video for Rock is shown.
- DX are backstage celebrating as we look back at moments ago.
- Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. Rock hits the catchphrase to begin. He wants to talk about Stone Cold. He congratulates Austin on a successful neck surgery. He tells Austin to come back quickly. Rock says Big Show isn't a jabroni, he is a 7 foot 500 pound monkey crap. He says to Show to read his lips and he spells jabroni. He guarantees he will win the Royal Rumble and win the title. Rock says he doesn't need or want Big Show as a partner, and he wants Big Show to stand on the apron and do the one impressive thing he does: He then grunts and raises his hand. Heh. He ends with the usual.
- Jericho is warming up backstage.
Match #5
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Breasts vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley
Bubba comes charging into the ring and we are underway. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind from the top. Jeff with a nice springboard bulldog for 2. Bubba escapes to the outside and Jeff hits a swanton over the top. Jeff goes for a frankensteiner but gets reversed into a powerbomb. Bubba with the chops in the corner. Back body drop and a lariat from Bubba. Headscissors by Jeff but he gets Bubba Bombed. Breasts distracts the ref and Dvon pulls her down. Matt attacks Dvon but gets dropped on the security railing. Back in the ring, Bubba goes for a senton and misses. Jeff hits a neckbreaker and goes up top. Swanton Bomb will get 3 at 2:47. Dvon attacks Jeff after the match. The Dudleys hit a 3D on both Hardys. Bubba gets a table. Jeff gets put onto the table and Bubba powerbombs Matt onto Jeff through the table! Pretty decisive ass whooping by the Dudleys.
Match was decent while it lasted. *1/2
- The Hollys are backstage. As usual Hardcore Holly can't talk properly.
- Backstage with Chyna and The Kat. They yap about Jericho defending the title tonight against Rikishi.
Match #6
Rikishi w/ Too Cool vs WWF Co-Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho
Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho. He explains he is defending the belt because he is an honourable champion. He calls Rikishi "Rockasichi". He says he is a great dancer but for now he will have to destroy Rikishi. Jericho hits a missile dropkick. He runs into Rikishi and gets flapjacked. He rolls outside and Rikishi sends him into the steps a few times. Springboard dropkick by Jericho. He tries a plancha and gets caught and driven into the ring post. Back in, Rikishi hits the laziest powerslam I've ever seen and hits a legdrop for 2 BROTHA! Jericho tries a flying forearm and hits the ref. Belly-to-belly by Rikishi. He calls for the Banzai drop and Hardcore and Crash run in and get destroyed by Rikishi with Samoan drops. Jericho goes on the attack and gets superkicked. He goes for the Rikishi Driver but Chyna runs in and hits a low blow on Rikishi. Chyna and Y2J get double clotheslined. Rikishi hits Chyna with a belly-to-belly suplex. He goes to Banzai drop Chyna and Holly hits him with a chair for the DQ at 3:27. Too Cool run in to save Rikishi. I should note the crowd is completely dead for this. Rikishi hits a huge Rikishi Driver on Crash. Too Cool dance after the match.
Overbooked but very entertaining and it really put Rikishi over as a monster. The crowd were into him by the end of the match. *3/4
- We look back at Albert and Bossman fighting earlier.
- Weird hype video for Kane is shown to some opera music. I don't think opera when I imagine Kane chokeslamming D'lo Brown. Just saying.
- Cactus Jack and Big Show talk backstage about The Rock.
Match #7
Kane w/ Tori vs Prince Albert w/ No hope
Albert charges in and immediately gets beat down. That was smooth. Big lariat takes down Albert. Kane with elbows and kicks in the corner. Kane gets elbowed on a corner charge and Albert hits a scissor kick. Albert clotheslines Kane out but he gets his neck snapped on the top rope. Kane goes up and hits the clothesline. Kane hits the chokeslam for 3 at 1:18. Albert gets the mic after the match and tells Kane he likes to be dominated by a woman. Err, what?
Complete squash. 1/4*
- Backstage with Cactus Jack and The Rock. Jack is telling Rock he should keep as many friends as possible and Rock doesn't care.
Match #8
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs The Big Show and The Rock
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Even The Rock's pop wasn't as loud as expected. This crowd blows. The Rock immediately starts brawling with Big Show and knocks him out of the ring. That was not smart. Ass attacks Rock from behind and it's on. Dogg starts for the NAO. This is pretty much a handicap match. HHH, Xpac and Steph are on the stage on a couch. Dogg with generic brawling. Ass tags in. Rock with a neckbreaker for 2. Ass with a clothesline which the camera misses. Rock rolls outside and Dogg attacks him. Ass Irish whips Rock into Dogg for some reason and Dogg gets clotheslined. He sends Ass into the post but Dogg sends Rock into the steps. Rock is tossed back in and is pinned for a 2. Dogg with the Shake Rattle and Roll. Rock reverses into a Rockbottom but Ass breaks up the count. Ass is tagged in. "Big Show sucks" chant. Ass with a Jackhammer for 2. Goldberg is crying somewhere. Rock hits a spinebuster out of nowhere. Rock is tossed to the outside and Show attacks. He tosses Rock back in. Dogg gets a 2 count. The NAO go for a double team move but Rock counters by low blowing Dogg and slamming Ass. Show pulls Rock outside again and then begins attacking DX. Um, ref? Hello? Show with a huge powerslam to Ass. Dogg has a chair as does Rock. Rock hits Big Show with the chair. Ass pins him for 3 at 6:11. DX celebrate on the ramp. Rock hits a People's Elbow on Show while DX look on.
Pretty much a mess of a match. Hard to follow and pretty boring. 1/2*
Somewhat dull episode as they build to the Rumble. I enjoyed the Rikishi/Jericho match for what it was and seeing Prince Albert get squashed always warms my heart. But the main event blew and the production was really off for some reason. See you for the January 20th Smackdown!
Thursday, 2 June 2011
WWF Sunday Night HEAT - 16/01/00
WWF Sunday Night HeAT - 16/01/00
- Standard HeAT opening video.
Match #1
Kurt Angle vs Christian
Angle cuts a promo before the match. He says he is still the only undefeated man in the company. He says many people are trying to break his streak. He seems to think this day is the biggest of Christian's life. He gets pissed at the fans chanting "asshole" and decides to stop talking. Fireman's Carry by Angle to start. Unprettier attempt reversed and a leg sweep takedown. Angle is tossed out of the ring. Nice springboard splash to the outside by Christian. Magistral Cradle gets 2. Angle sent into the top 'buckle. Tornado DDT is reversed. German suplex by Angle. Angle with punches in the corner and a foot choke. Scoop slam into a modified chinlock. Christian fights up and they both go for a crossbody and collide in mid air. Christian with a Russian leg sweep and a back body drop. Angle gets a boot up on a corner charge. Tornado DDT this time connects and Angle rolls out to catch his breath. He goes to leave and Christian stops him and brings him back in. Steve Blackman comes out and attacks Christian. Edge makes the save and drags Blackman up the ramp. Meanwhile, Christian hits the Unprettier but the ref was distracted by the fight at ringside. Angle hits an Olympic slam out of nowhere and gets the 3 at 4:25.
Good match. **
- Backstage with the Mean Street Posse. They are complaining about Kaientai and the fact they can't get a win from anywhere. They say they will attack Kaientai before the match.
Match #2
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Mammaries vs Prince Albert w/ an upside down head
Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind from the top right at the start. Problem is, Albert fucked it up by standing too close and it looked pathetic. Hardy dropkicks Albert out. Hardy with a Swanton Bomb to the outside! Back in and a horrible looking sunset flip gets 2. Albert fights back and hits a shoulderblock. Slingshot into the middle rope by Albert. Military press as he just drops Hardy on his face. Double arm suplex gets 2. Corner charge misses and Hardy goes for a Frankensteiner. Albert counters into a huge sit out elevated powerbomb. Terri distracts the ref. Albert tries to call out the Bossman but he doesn't come down. Hardy hits him with some kind of object and gets the win at 3:21.
That pretty much blew chunks. 1/2*
- Backstage, the Posse run into Rikishi in the bathroom. He has seemingly unleashed the turd of doom as the Posse act disgusted. Rikishi gets pissed and attacks Rodney, the rest of the Posse attack but Rikishi scares them off. The camera pans to him and he for some reason is panting like a dog in mating season. What a strange segment.
- The Rock visits the Miami Hurricanes, his old college team.
Match #3
D'lo Brown w/ a bobbing head vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley
Another #13 vignette airs on the screen. Bubba attacks before the bell. Shoulderblock by Bubba. Hiptoss and an arm drag by D'lo. Big back body drop by D'lo but he gets tossed out. Dvon attacks D'lo outside. Bubba goes out but gets thrown into the steps. Bubba gets tossed in. D'lo goes up and hits a crossbody for 2. Dvon grabs D'lo's leg and Bubba hits a back suplex. Suplex by Bubba gets 2. He shouts at the ref to count 3 but he stutters on the 3 and gets rolled up for 2. Pretty funny spot. Bubba with a lariat. Bubba with a headbutt to the groin. D'lo is tossed out and Dvon attacks. He tosses D'lo back in. Big slap to the chest by Bubba. And another. D'lo goes for a sunset flip and eventually gets him over for 2. Big sidewalk slam for Bubba gets another 2. Bubba misses a splash and D'lo hits a calf kick and a scoop slam. The leg drop gets 2. Forearm smash gets another 2 for D'lo. Frankensteiner is reversed into a powerbomb by Bubba. He hits a sitdown splash for 2. Scoop slam by Bubba. Dvon goes up to the top to go for the testicular headbutt and the ref gets him down. The ref sends Dvon backstage. Samoan drop by Bubba. Bubba goes up top and misses a senton. D'lo hits Sky High for 3 at 6:10.
Good, long match. **1/4
- Backstage with Rikishi and Too Cool. Rikishi tells Too Cool the Posses made fun of his ass and he wants payback. He threatens to sit on the Posse's face. Yes, I'm serious.
- A look back at the events of the last episode of RAW and Smackdown.
- Backstage with Tori at the coffee machine and Kaientai. They are speaking Japanese and Tori acts offended as though they are saying dirty things.
- The Holly's come down to ringside. Hardcore has a mic. He says the crowd need to shut up and listen to him. The announcers act bored. Hah, even the announcers hate Bob Holly. Holly says he beat Y2J and Chyna clean so he should be the IC champion. He says he doesn't give a rats ass who it is, but one of them should come out and accept his challenge. Chyna makes her way out. Chyna tells him she accepts. Chyna says she will kick Holly's ass. Jericho's music hits and he comes down. Jericho tells Chyna he has no doubt she is tough. However, he says he wants the shot at the Rumble, not Chyna. Holly says they both can't accept, so he proposes a triple threat match. Chyna accepts and so does Jericho. He starts to talk about his Jericholics but Holly interrupts him. He says there will never, EEEEVVVER, be any doubt that Holly will win at the Rumble.
- Hype video for the WWF title match at the Rumble.
Match #4
The Mean Street Posse vs Too Cool and Rikishi
Before the match Kane destroys Kaientai backstage. Too Cool and Rikishi will replace Kaientai I guess then. Too Cool attack before the bell. Pete Gas is immediately superkicked at the start. Rikishi with the ass charge into the corner and a belly-to-belly. Joey Abs runs in and gets a Rikishi Driver. Rodney is in. Too Cool attack him and hit the synchronized elbows. They drag Rodney to the corner and Rikishi hits a Banzai Drop for 3 at 1:31. Too Cool and Rikishi dance after the match.
Poor Posse. Fun squash match. 1/4*
Fun episode. 2 great TV matches and the Posse getting destroyed. What more do you want from an episode of HeAT? See you next time for the January 17th RAW!
- Standard HeAT opening video.
Match #1
Kurt Angle vs Christian
Angle cuts a promo before the match. He says he is still the only undefeated man in the company. He says many people are trying to break his streak. He seems to think this day is the biggest of Christian's life. He gets pissed at the fans chanting "asshole" and decides to stop talking. Fireman's Carry by Angle to start. Unprettier attempt reversed and a leg sweep takedown. Angle is tossed out of the ring. Nice springboard splash to the outside by Christian. Magistral Cradle gets 2. Angle sent into the top 'buckle. Tornado DDT is reversed. German suplex by Angle. Angle with punches in the corner and a foot choke. Scoop slam into a modified chinlock. Christian fights up and they both go for a crossbody and collide in mid air. Christian with a Russian leg sweep and a back body drop. Angle gets a boot up on a corner charge. Tornado DDT this time connects and Angle rolls out to catch his breath. He goes to leave and Christian stops him and brings him back in. Steve Blackman comes out and attacks Christian. Edge makes the save and drags Blackman up the ramp. Meanwhile, Christian hits the Unprettier but the ref was distracted by the fight at ringside. Angle hits an Olympic slam out of nowhere and gets the 3 at 4:25.
Good match. **
- Backstage with the Mean Street Posse. They are complaining about Kaientai and the fact they can't get a win from anywhere. They say they will attack Kaientai before the match.
Match #2
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Mammaries vs Prince Albert w/ an upside down head
Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind from the top right at the start. Problem is, Albert fucked it up by standing too close and it looked pathetic. Hardy dropkicks Albert out. Hardy with a Swanton Bomb to the outside! Back in and a horrible looking sunset flip gets 2. Albert fights back and hits a shoulderblock. Slingshot into the middle rope by Albert. Military press as he just drops Hardy on his face. Double arm suplex gets 2. Corner charge misses and Hardy goes for a Frankensteiner. Albert counters into a huge sit out elevated powerbomb. Terri distracts the ref. Albert tries to call out the Bossman but he doesn't come down. Hardy hits him with some kind of object and gets the win at 3:21.
That pretty much blew chunks. 1/2*
- Backstage, the Posse run into Rikishi in the bathroom. He has seemingly unleashed the turd of doom as the Posse act disgusted. Rikishi gets pissed and attacks Rodney, the rest of the Posse attack but Rikishi scares them off. The camera pans to him and he for some reason is panting like a dog in mating season. What a strange segment.
- The Rock visits the Miami Hurricanes, his old college team.
Match #3
D'lo Brown w/ a bobbing head vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley
Another #13 vignette airs on the screen. Bubba attacks before the bell. Shoulderblock by Bubba. Hiptoss and an arm drag by D'lo. Big back body drop by D'lo but he gets tossed out. Dvon attacks D'lo outside. Bubba goes out but gets thrown into the steps. Bubba gets tossed in. D'lo goes up and hits a crossbody for 2. Dvon grabs D'lo's leg and Bubba hits a back suplex. Suplex by Bubba gets 2. He shouts at the ref to count 3 but he stutters on the 3 and gets rolled up for 2. Pretty funny spot. Bubba with a lariat. Bubba with a headbutt to the groin. D'lo is tossed out and Dvon attacks. He tosses D'lo back in. Big slap to the chest by Bubba. And another. D'lo goes for a sunset flip and eventually gets him over for 2. Big sidewalk slam for Bubba gets another 2. Bubba misses a splash and D'lo hits a calf kick and a scoop slam. The leg drop gets 2. Forearm smash gets another 2 for D'lo. Frankensteiner is reversed into a powerbomb by Bubba. He hits a sitdown splash for 2. Scoop slam by Bubba. Dvon goes up to the top to go for the testicular headbutt and the ref gets him down. The ref sends Dvon backstage. Samoan drop by Bubba. Bubba goes up top and misses a senton. D'lo hits Sky High for 3 at 6:10.
Good, long match. **1/4
- Backstage with Rikishi and Too Cool. Rikishi tells Too Cool the Posses made fun of his ass and he wants payback. He threatens to sit on the Posse's face. Yes, I'm serious.
- A look back at the events of the last episode of RAW and Smackdown.
- Backstage with Tori at the coffee machine and Kaientai. They are speaking Japanese and Tori acts offended as though they are saying dirty things.
- The Holly's come down to ringside. Hardcore has a mic. He says the crowd need to shut up and listen to him. The announcers act bored. Hah, even the announcers hate Bob Holly. Holly says he beat Y2J and Chyna clean so he should be the IC champion. He says he doesn't give a rats ass who it is, but one of them should come out and accept his challenge. Chyna makes her way out. Chyna tells him she accepts. Chyna says she will kick Holly's ass. Jericho's music hits and he comes down. Jericho tells Chyna he has no doubt she is tough. However, he says he wants the shot at the Rumble, not Chyna. Holly says they both can't accept, so he proposes a triple threat match. Chyna accepts and so does Jericho. He starts to talk about his Jericholics but Holly interrupts him. He says there will never, EEEEVVVER, be any doubt that Holly will win at the Rumble.
- Hype video for the WWF title match at the Rumble.
Match #4
The Mean Street Posse vs Too Cool and Rikishi
Before the match Kane destroys Kaientai backstage. Too Cool and Rikishi will replace Kaientai I guess then. Too Cool attack before the bell. Pete Gas is immediately superkicked at the start. Rikishi with the ass charge into the corner and a belly-to-belly. Joey Abs runs in and gets a Rikishi Driver. Rodney is in. Too Cool attack him and hit the synchronized elbows. They drag Rodney to the corner and Rikishi hits a Banzai Drop for 3 at 1:31. Too Cool and Rikishi dance after the match.
Poor Posse. Fun squash match. 1/4*
Fun episode. 2 great TV matches and the Posse getting destroyed. What more do you want from an episode of HeAT? See you next time for the January 17th RAW!
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