WWF Royal Rumble 2000

WWF Royal Rumble 2000

- We are live from The World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden in New York City.

- A video promo for the HHH/Cactus match later on is shown. Something to note is the version I am watching is the WWE 24/7 version of the show, so naturally whenever someone says "WWF" the F is bleeped out. This is not a surprise. What is a surprise however is that during this promo video, some WCW footage was used of Cactus Jack. Clearly at this point WCW was still in business and so obviously WWF did not have the rights to show that footage. So could anyone tell me whether the footage was in the original PPV airing or even the original DVD version from 2000? If not, why did they randomly insert it? Surely WCW didn't let WWF use footage from their show....right?

- Anyway, enough rambling about WCW and blatant copyright violations, I have a show to recap! Your hosts are JR and The King.

Match #1

Kurt Angle vs. Mystery Opponent

What a way to open the show, with one of the greatest debuts in WWF history. Angle has the mic but can barely talk over the huge chants from the NY crowd. I won't spoil what they are chanting just yet. Angle says he is a true champion and that the New York Knicks will never win an NBA title. Angle has decided to be New York's champion tonight. Crowd are chanting again and Angle is being almost drowned out by the crowd. Amazing atmosphere. Angle tells his opponent to come down. His music starts and the crowd go APESHIT as Former ECW champion Tazz comes down. The bell rings and Tazz immediately brawls to start. He elevates Angle outside with a back body drop. Angle counters a suplex attempt on the concrete with one of his own. Angle throws him in and hits a flying forearm for 2. Angle with a foot choke in the corner and a Belly-To-Belly suplex. Angle goes up top but gets crotched and suplexed off to a HUGE pop. That gets 2 as Angle has his foot on the rope. Angle rolls up Tazz for 2. German suplex gets 2. Olympic slam attempt is reversed into a NASTY German suplex as Angle lands on his face. Belly-To-Belly suplex followed by a T-Bone suplex as the crowd go crazy. Tazz locks in the Tazzmission and Angle is out at 3:15. Tazz has ended Angle's streak and EMT's come down to tend to the unconscious Angle. Angle is stretchered out as Tazz is put over as a monster.

Fantastic debut, Angle really made Tazz look like a million dollars. ***

- Interview with the Hardy’s and Terri backstage. They show the scene from last week where Jeff is put through a table. They then show the incident from Smackdown. The Hardy’s tell Terri she is not going out there during the table match.

Match #2 Tag team table match

The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy Boyz

This will rule. Bubba has a mic. He says the NY crowd are ass backwards because they cheer for the Hardy’s. He makes some kind of Baseball reference that I can't understand. He tells the Hardy’s to kiss their asses goodbye. They brawl to start. Bubba bomb on Jeff. Bubba brings in a table. Yes, already. ECW chants from the crowd. Bubba tries to throw Jeff through the table but Matt moved it. DDT by Matt. Jeff leaps outside with a somersault senton onto Bubba. Matt counters a powerbomb attempt through a table but gets a suplex instead. Jeff chairs Bubba in the head and lays him on a table. He tries a leapfrog off of the railing but Bubba stands up and slings the table straight into his face. Bubba puts Matt on the table and goes up top. Matt gets up and stops him. Jeff comes to help and as they try a superplex Dvon moves the table. Matt pulls a ladder out from under the ring as this is practically a TLC match now. Bubba gets hit out of the ring by a ladder. Matt chairshots Bubba twice. Matt puts Bubba on a table and sets up the ladder. Dvon climbs up but gets shoved off. Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash from the top turnbuckle at the same time and Bubba is done. Matt chairshots Dvon. Bubba is up but he is dazed. They prop up a table with the ring and some steel steps and put Dvon on there. Hardy comes off the top and Dvon moves. Jeff then tries a suicide dive and Dvon moves, so Jeff goes through a different table that was set up. Insane. The Dudleys set up a table on two steel steps. Bubba powerbombs Matt from the top rope through the table and he is out. Only Dvon or Jeff needs to be put through a table to win. They go into the crowd. Bubba chairshots Jeff. The Dudleys set up a table in the aisleway. They stack up 3 tables(!) on top of one another and put Matt on the top. Jeff comes in with a chair and nails Dvon, but Bubba takes the chair and nails Jeff. He takes Jeff to a balcony above the tables. He poses but turns his back on Jeff and gets low blowed and chaired in the head. He falls straight through 3 tables from the balcony! Matt sets up another table and puts Dvon on it. Jeff hits a Swanton Bomb from the balcony! That will win it for the Hardy’s at 10:18.

That was absolutely crazy. They killed each other out there and put on a hell of a match. Amazingly, they would go on to better this on numerous occasions. ****

- The EMT's are backstage with Angle, who is still out of it. He isn't sure what happened and says he is still undefeated.

- It is time for the Miss Rumble Swimsuit Contest. Yeah.... Guest judges are Sgt Slaughter, Tony Garea, The Fabulous Moolah, Johnny Valiant and Classy Freddy Blassie. King is the master of ceremonies. He hits an absolute zinger on Finkel as he says "Howard, these girls aren't your type. They aren't inflatable." Even JR laughs. The participants are Ivory, Terri (to a huge pop), Jacqueline (to zero reaction), B.B, Luna (with blatantly dubbed music) and The Kat (who actually got naked at Armageddon 1999). Andy Richter is also a special judge. I have no idea who that is. Ivory is first in a green bikini. Terri is next in a flesh coloured bodysuit...thing. Jacqueline is next in a golden bikini and she can barely keep her...well, breasts in check. B.B is next in a blue and pink bikini. Luna is next and she doesn't want to go so she refuses. The Kat is next as she is only wearing a bubble wrap bikini. King is having a heart attack at this point. At this point Mae Young comes out. Oh god no. She enters herself into the contest. Mae strips and is wearing a purple nightgown. King is laughing and at this point this is kinda funny. Then it turns ugly as Mae takes her nightgown off and shows everyone the world’s oldest boobs. Thank God the censor comes on. Mark Henry then becomes my favourite wrestler of all time by covering her up. Thank you Mark, thank you. The judge’s results are in, and Mae is the winner.

Well, that was...different.

- We cut to WWF New York as poor Coach is mobbed by drunken New Yorkers and can barely talk.

- Jericho and Chyna are backstage arguing about who should wear the belt. Earl Hebner comes along and takes the belt to settle it. Nice touch as Jericho calls him "Dave".

Match #3 - Intercontinental title match

Hardcore Holly vs. Co-Intercontinental champion Chyna vs. Co-Intercontinental champion Chris Jericho

Jericho gets a decent pop. He has a mic and welcomes everyone to Madison Square Jericho. He says the Jericholics will put on a celebration so huge when he wins it will never, EVVVER be forgotten. JR is putting over Chyna huge. Holly cheap shots Chyna and goes after Jericho. Jericho with a hiptoss on Holly. They start slapping each other and Chyna works Holly in the corner. Chyna is sent over the top rope. Holly shoulderblocks Jericho and hits a great dropkick. Jericho hits the flying forearm for 2. JR makes a joke about Man On The Moon to King. Holly gets his feet up on a corner charge but Jericho counters a Hurricanrana attempt into the Walls. Chyna breaks it up to boo's and she hits a back elbow. Chyna clotheslines Holly out. Holly grabs Jericho’s legs but he moves out of the way and Chyna baseball slides Holly. Jericho leaps off the top rope and crossbodies Holly. Chyna tosses Jericho in and hits the handspring elbow and a DDT. Holly breaks it up at 2. Chyna is tosses outside. Chyna pulls the rope down as Jericho hits it and he is sent outside. Holly knocks Jericho out and has a chair. Chyna dropkicks it into Holly's face. Back in, Chyna and Jericho go up top and hit a stereo splash for a 2. Chyna hits a low blow on Jericho behind the refs back. She hits a shitty Pedigree on Holly but he kicks out at 2. She goes up top but Holly gets her on his shoulders and Jericho hits a crossbody onto her for 2. Holly hits a superkick to Jericho and goes up top. Jericho heads him off but he gets crotched by Chyna. He falls out of the ring. Chyna superplexes Holly off the top. Holly rolls through into the cover and gets 2. Holly pulls Jericho in while Chyna has a chair. She hits Holly behind the refs back. Pretty heel thing to do. She locks in the Walls on Holly but Jericho breaks it up with a bulldog. He lionsaults Holly and gets 3 at 7:18 to become the IC champ.

Wasn't that good, Chyna dragged both men down here. Still watchable though. *3/4

- Rock is backstage with Cole. Typical Rock interview here, so I won't recap it. Ok I lied, this interview is glorious. Hilarious promo as he says Headbanger Mosh and Crash Holly are the biggest threats to The Rock tonight. He tells Cole to make a glass of "Shut up Juice" and that he wipes his ass with what the Big Show thinks.

Match #4 - WWF Tag Team Championships

WWF Tag Team champions The New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes

Amazing reception for the NAO as they run through the catchphrases. Man, they were over. The Acolytes sprint out and immediately start brawling. Ass with a dropkick that has no effect on Bradshaw. He goes for a crossbody but gets caught. Cute bit as Dogg charges at Bradshaw and gets kicked in the face while he is still holding Mr Ass. Nice fallaway slam by Bradshaw. Farooq tags in. Dogg gets a foot up on a corner charge but gets powerslammed. Ha, Farooq does the little dance Dogg used to do. He goes for the Dominator but Ass interrupts. Farooq clotheslines them both. Dogg hits the Shake Rattle and Roll punches. He tries the Epileptic Kneedrop of Death (Ok, I can't remember the real name of it. Sue me.) but Bradshaw yanks him down by the hair. Mr Ass comes in and it turns into a brawl. Ass misses a corner splash and Bradshaw hits a HUGE Clothesline From Hell. Farooq hits a spinebuster but the ref is pulled out by Mr Ass. Bradshaw attacks Mr Ass and the ref gets bumped. Xpac runs in and kicks Bradshaw but he gets spinebustered. Mr Ass comes in amid the chaos and hits the Fameasser for 3 at 2:36 to retain the titles.

It's a shame they had their match time significantly shortened. Maybe the swimsuit thing went on too long. *

Match #5 - WWF Championship Street Fight

Cactus Jack vs. WWF Champion Triple HHH w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsely

Urgh, really? Cactus' music is dubbed with his old WCW music (at least I think it is). That is ridiculous. I hate 24/7 sometimes. Stephanie goes to the back, so HHH is alone. Jack unloads on HHH to begin. They brawl for a while. HHH escapes to the outside and Cactus hits a neckbreaker on the outside. Cactus hits a legdrop as HHH tries to enter the ring. Cactus rams HHH's head into the steps and into the ringbell. HHH grabs the bell and hits Cactus with it. He tosses a chair into the ring and tells Cactus to come after him. Cactus charges and gets hit with the chair right into the side of his face. That looked nasty. HHH takes the turnbuckle padding off but Cactus clotheslines HHH down. He grabs the chair and puts it on HHH's face. He legdrops the chair into his face for a 2. Cactus is just nailing HHH with right hands and stomps. They brawl outside some more and Cactus backdrops HHH over the barrier into the crowd. They fight each other into the crowd. They fight into the entranceway. Jack sets up some wooden pallets and suplexes HHH right onto them. (The arena is set up like a back alley in case you are confused) Jack with a trashcan to HHH's face. He sends HHH into the door of the entranceway several times, which looks like a warehouse shutter. HHH back suplexes Jack onto a trashcan. Someone in the crowd calls them "pussies". Yep, that guy is an idiot. They brawl some more and end up back at ringside. He hits a running knee on HHH right into the steel steps. HHH is tosses back in. Jack gets a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire from under the ring. HHH low blows Cactus and grabs the 2X4. He whacks Cactus in the stomach and back with it repeatedly. Cactus hits HHH and rams the 2X4 into HHH's groin. The ref gets rid of the 2X4 as Jack hits a Double Arm DDT for 2. Jack threatens the ref and takes out one of the Spanish announcers to get his 2X4 back. HHH tries to charge at Jack but Jack dodges and he hits the ref. He smacks HHH right in the face with it twice. That gets a 2. These 2 are just murdering each other out there. Jack hits HHH in the face again. HHH is bleeding heavily as Jack grates the wire into HHH's face. More brawling outside. Man, HHH is a mess. He rams HHH into the announce table. Jack goes for a piledriver through the table but HHH reverses it into a back body drop. That looked sick. HHH is also bleeding from his leg. HHH tosses Jack back in. HHH goes for a Pedigree but Jack counters into a catapult into the turnbuckle. He bulldogs HHH right onto the 2X4 for 2. Jack hits the Cactus clothesline. Jack charges at HHH but gets hiptossed into the steps. A classic Foley spot there. Jack gets sent into the steps again. HHH works on the left knee with a chopblock. They crawl back into the ring. HHH takes out the knee again. He has the 2X4. He whacks Cactus right in the knee. HHH fetches some handcuffs. He tries to tie Jack's arms behind his back in a nice recall to Royal Rumble 1999. Jack blocks it but HHH goes for the knee and ties his hands behind his back successfully. HHH grabs the steps and brings them into the ring. Jack dropkicks HHH's feet and HHH drops the steps and falls face first into them. Jack manages to drop an elbow onto HHH's...well, penis area. Jack starts biting his ear. HHH gains the advantage again and has a chair. He starts hitting Jack with it and it breaks on his back. That was a cool visual. HHH goes out there and hits a chairshot. Jack tells HHH to hit him again. The Rock appears out of nowhere and whacks HHH with a chair! A cop comes out and takes off the cuffs. Jack starts beating down HHH and they go onto the other announce table. Jack hits a piledriver right onto the table in a sick spot. The table doesn’t break, which I think actually helped the spot there. Jack rolls HHH into the ring and grabs a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out and tries to stop the match. Jack gets backdropped right onto the tacks. HHH hits the Pedigree but Jack kicks out to a HUGE pop. HHH hits another one onto the tacks and that will finally get 3 at 26:51 to retain the title. HHH is stretchered out but Jack wheels him back into the arena. He throws him into the ring and hits him with the 2X4.

That was fucking fantastic. They went out there and absolutely destroyed each other and put on a hell of a match. Note to future wrestlers, THIS is how to do a hardcore match. ****3/4

- Coach is at WWF New York again. He interviews Linda McMahon who says some words that I didn't listen to.

Match #6

The Royal Rumble

D'lo Brown is #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. King is annoyed at this. For those who don't know, Sexay is King's son. They never acknowledged it on WWF TV but they made a lot of little nods to it. They brawl for a while. I'll just report on the bigger moments otherwise this match recap will be huge. D'lo goes for a running powerbomb but Sexay reverses into a frankensteiner. Sexay hits a missile dropkick from the top. D'lo is almost tossed out but he holds on. Headbanger Mosh is #3. He is wearing a cone shaped green bra. In a hilarious moment, Kai En Tai run in and get immediately tossed out. This happens a lot in this rumble. D'lo hits the Sky High on Mosh. Christian is #4. Rikishi is #5 to a HUGE pop. Mosh is tossed out. He suplexes Christian and throws him out. D'lo legdrops Rikishi but he no sells and hits the Rikishi Driver. D'lo is tossed out as well and it's just Sexay and Rikishi left. Scotty Too Hotty is #6 and he has the glasses. They dance in the middle of the Rumble in a great moment. Rikishi tosses them both out and then finishes the dance. Man I miss Rikishi. Steve Blackman is #7. They fight for a while but Blackman gets caught with the Rikishi Driver. He's tossed out. Viscera is #8. Viscera hits a huge suplex on Rikishi and then hits a legdrop. He splashes Rikishi in the corner. He misses another corner charge and gets tossed out. Rikishi is on a roll here. Big Bossman is #9. He refuses to get into the ring and instead circles the ring. Test is #10 to a big pop. Bossman and Test brawl outside. He throws Bossman into the ring. The British Bulldog is #11 to represent the UK. Rikishi goes for a Banzai Drop but the Bulldog low blows him to stop him. Gangrel is #12. Kai En Tai run in again and get immediately tossed out. The replay shows Taka smacked his head on the floor. That looked painful. Edge is #13. Rikishi hits the Banzai Drop on Bossman. King asks if they can see Taka being thrown out again and they show it. King also calls him "Chinese". Heh. Bob Backlund is #14 to a HUGE reaction. MSG knows their history. Everyone teams up and Rikishi is eliminated. Jericho is #15. He eliminates Backlund. Crash Holly is #16. Chyna is #17. She goes straight after Jericho and suplexes him out. Bossman eliminates Chyna straight after. Haha, Bossman is standing on Crash. No clue why I laughed at that. Farooq is #18. The Mean Street Posse run in and attacks Farooq and Bossman throws Farooq out. Road Dogg is #19. I should mention Crash has done nothing but get destroyed the whole match so far. Al Snow is #20. Road Dogg eliminates Bulldog. Val Venis is #21. Funaki runs in AGAIN and everyone immediately tosses him out. This is hilarious. King calls him Chinese again. They show the Taka head bump again. Prince Albert is #22. Edge is eliminated by Snow and Venis. Funny moment as Crash goes after Albert and gets tossed away like a basketball. He then stands up and gets kicked in the face by Bossman. Poor Crash. Hardcore Holly is #23. Not much happening. The Rock is #24 and the crowd go apeshit. Bossman is eliminated by Rock. Crash gets powerbombed by Test in the background. That looked brutal. Mr Ass is #25. Crash is finally eliminated by Rock. The Big Show is #26. Test is tossed out by Show. So is Gangrel. Show press slams Holly. I hate when people do that, just toss them out for God’s sake. Bradshaw is #27. The Posse run in again and attack Bradshaw and that distracts him enough for the NAO to eliminate him. Farooq comes back out and the Posse and the Acolytes brawl to the back. Kane is #28. Val Venis is tossed out by his throat in a cool moment. The Godfather is #29 to a big pop. Kane eliminates Prince Albert during Godfather's entrance. Funaki runs in again and Snow tosses him out again. King asks to see the Taka elimination again and they show it. King makes another Chinese joke. X-Pac is #30. Hardcore Holly is eliminated by Al Snow. Godfather is tossed out by Big Show. Snow is clotheslined out by Rock. Mr Ass gets rid of Road Dogg. Mr Ass is eliminated by Kane.

Final Four: Kane, The Rock, Big Show, X-Pac.

Kane goes out to attack the NAO. Rock tosses X-Pac but the refs don't see it and he goes back in. Kane scoop slams Show but X-Pac eliminates Kane and hits the Bronco buster on Show. Show presses X-Pac out. Show and Rock are left. Rock signals for the People's Elbow and hits it. He goes to toss him out but Show blocks it and chokeslams Rock. He goes to throw him out but Rock holds onto the top rope and reverses it to win the Rumble at 51:51. The Rock is going to Wrestlemania. Rock has a mic. He says that finally, he is going to Wrestlemania. He tries to finish his interview but Show comes back and throws Rock out of the ring.

Great Rumble, it's hard to screw this match up and thankfully they didn't. Some fun moments with Crash Holly and Kai En Tai as well as the running gag of King calling them Chinese. A few dull spots aside, a very good Rumble. ***3/4

Fantastic show, it had everything you could possibly want from a quality PPV. The Cactus/HHH match was a classic, the Rumble itself was great, the opener was one of the greatest debuts ever, the tables match was insane, and even the Tag title match was ok despite its short length. I highly recommend you check this show out for yourselves. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all for the January 24th episode of RAW.