WWF RAW is RAW - January 24th 2000

RAW Is War - January 24th 2000

- We are a day removed from the Royal Rumble, live from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

- HHH and Stephanie come out to start the show. Nice touch as he limps around the ring, still selling the street fight. Steph tries to speak and gets huge heat. Generic hype job from her. The crowd hit the "slut" chants. HHH gets the mic after some rambling from Steph. HHH says he isn't here to put Cactus over, but he is the most sadistic freak he has ever faced. He says he left a lot of things in New York, but not his WWF Title. He says he sunk to a new low last night, and he liked it. He starts to talk about Wrestlemania and the crowd chants for The Rock. He tells Rock to get into the best shape he can for 'Mania. He is interrupted by The Big Show. Show gets the mic and says he never got a rematch from HHH. He says Rock robbed him of his Rumble win last night. He says Rock's feet hit the ground first. Therefore, Show asks for a favour from HHH: if he can prove Rock's feet hit the ground first, he wants a match with The Rock for the right to face HHH for the Title. HHH says he can have the match if he shows proof. The Rock comes out to a huge pop. He tells HHH his days as champion are numbered. He tells Show it doesn't matter if his feet touched the ground first, all that matters is that he is going to Wrestlemania. HHH proposes that himself and Show team up to take on The Rock and a partner of his choosing. If Rock can't find a partner, it will be a handicap match.

- Tonight, Kane faces X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws defend the tag titles against The Hardy’s.

- Backstage with Crash and Hardcore Holly. Hardcore goes into the women’s locker room and brings out Chyna. She tells him to respect people. Hardcore cheapshots Chyna and Jericho runs up and makes the save. The refs break it up. Crash starts laughing and Hardcore hits him.

- We find out after the break that Jericho faces Hardcore Holly tonight for the intercontinental title.

- Al Snow and Steve Blackman talk backstage. Snow puts a cape on Blackman, then a wig. Blackman takes it off so Snow gives him some cheese to take out there. He wants to be called Head Cheese but Blackman refuses again. He shows him Hungry Hungry Hippos and says they could be called Head Games. Cute.

- Match #1

Edge and Christian vs. Al Snow w/ Head and Steve Blackman

Snow and Edge start. Sign: My dad is fat. They trade arm drags and dropkicks. Snow tags in Blackman and Edge hits an inverted atomic drop. Christian tags in and works the arm. Crowd chants Head Cheese as they do a nice sequence that ends with Blackman being thrown out of the ring. Christian hits a springboard crossbody to the outside. Edge and Snow brawl while Blackman hits a facebuster on the steel steps. Back in, Blackman stomps away on Christian. Snap suplex by Blackman. He tells the crowd to stop chanting Head Cheese. He slams Christian but misses a Vader Bomb attempt. Edge tags in and goes to work on Head Cheese. Snow makes a blind tag and Blackman holds Christian in a backbreaker while Snow hits a top rope leg drop in a nice double team. Christian and Blackman brawl outside and the ref rings the bell at 3:33 for....no reason whatsoever. They are saying Edge is injured. Oh give me a break. Who would believe this? B.B comes down and tries to give Edge mouth to mouth and he is helped up.

What the fuck kind of finish was that? Either have Snow pin Edge and then do the injury bullshit or don't do it at all. Don't have a 3 minute match and then end it for...no reason in particular. This gets 1/2* and likes it.

- Jericho is walking backstage. Holly/Y2J is next.

- Crash and Hardcore are backstage. Crash storms off and Hardcore is alone.

Match #2 WWF Intercontinental Championship match

Hardcore Holly vs. WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho

Jericho sprints down and they brawl to start. Big Y2J chants. Chyna comes down to ringside as Jericho lays in some kicks. They chop the shit out of each other. Jericho hits a bulldog for 2. They are just beating the shit out of each other. Holly goes for a powerbomb and gets 2. He drops an elbow but Chyna grabs the leg on a second attempt. He goes out and kicks her in the face. He grabs a chair but Jericho stops him and sends him into the steps. He grabs the chair but Holly makes him drop it. They brawl some more and Holly hits a dropkick. Jericho is tied in the ropes. Chyna gets in the ring behind the refs back and hits a Pedigree on the chair. She moves the chair out of the ring and Jericho hits the Lionsault for 3 at 3:44.

Was actually something a little different as they put on a decent little brawl. *1/2

- Hardy’s are interviewed by Cole. Dudley’s interrupt and say they will get revenge on the Hardy’s. They grab the Hardy’s and say if they win the title, The Dudley’s want the first shot.

- Match #3

Too Cool vs. Crash Holly and Viscera w/ no crowd reaction

Crash starts with Sexay. Sexay hits a flapjack and a DDT. Cute moment as he dances and turns around to get thrown about 10 feet into the air. Sunset flip attempt almost leads to Sexay being crushed. He tags in Scotty and picks him up for a Samoan drop. Crash goes up top and falls off, so Viscera is just all "fuck it" and Samoan drops Scotty anyway. Crash tags in and hits a Frankensteiner for 2. Viscera back in but he misses a corner splash. Scotty tries to climb on his shoulders but gets hit with a sit out powerbomb. He misses a splash and Sexay tags in. Crash tries another Frankensteiner and gets powerbombed. Too Cool dropkick Viscera and hit a double bulldog. Scotty calls for The Worm and hits it. They grab Crash and hit their leg drop bearhug thing. Sexay goes for a cover but Viscera legdrops Sexay and pins him for 3 at 3:22. Funny moment as Crash runs into Viscera's arms after the match.

Horrible match, but a few fun comedy moments keep it from being a dud. 1/4*

- Recap video of X-Pac and Kane's friendship and then subsequent rivalry.

- We go to WWF New York as Coach tries to speak. I can't understand a word he says thanks to the crazy drunken fans.

Match #4

Kane w/ Tori vs. X-Pac

Xpac uses his speed early on but gets nailed with a lariat. Kane brawls in the corner and hiptosses him away. He gets a boot to the face on a corner charge but powerslams Xpac. Xpac hits a spinning heel kick but Kane sits up. He throws Xpac outside and the cameraman takes a tumble. He beats down Xpac outside. Xpac reverses a slam attempt and sends Kane into the steps. Xpac grabs Tori and forces himself onto her. Kane goes to comfort her and Xpac grabs a chair for the DQ at 2:57.

More of an angle than a match. 1/2*

- Kane and Tori go into HHH's office and demand Xpac. They say he left already.

Match #5 WWF Tag Team Championship match

WWF Tag Team Champions the New Age Outlaws vs. the Hardy Boyz w/ Terri

Brawl to start. Ass starts with Matt. The Dudley’s make their way down to ringside. Ass hits a splash in the corner. Dog tags in. The Dudley’s grab a table from outside the ring. Ass tags back in and hits a Jackhammer. Dogg tags in. He beats up on Matt some more and tags in Ass. More slow brawling. Dogg tags back in. Matt is getting torn apart here. They try and copy the Hardy’s by attempting Poetry in Motion but Matt dropkicks Dogg in mid air and hits a tornado DDT on Ass. Matt makes the hot tag to Jeff. It turns into a brawl. Matt hits the Twist of Fate and Jeff hits a Swanton. The Dudley’s pull the ref out of the ring and beat Jeff down. They hit the 3D on Jeff. Matt gets one as well. They bring in a table. Terri tries to stop them and they grab her. Bubba powerbombs Terri through a table and the bell finally rings at 5:22. I'm guessing it was a no contest. She gets stretchered out.

Match was just an excuse to have the Dudley’s murder Nipples, but it made the feud very personal. 3/4*

- Kurt Angle comes out on stage and has a mic. He says what just happened is bad, but that getting choked out by Tazz at the Rumble was worse. He says Tazz used an illegal hold, but he doesn't blame Tazz because he is uneducated and a street thug. Tazz comes out. Tazz doesn't even say anything; he just locks in the Tazzmission. Angle tries to fight out of it but he can't and eventually passes out. The refs eventually prise Tazz off. Man, they really put Tazz over huge when he first arrived. As you'll see however, the bookers got some new toys to play with the week after this show and Tazz was forgotten.

Match #6

The Godfather and D'lo Brown w/ Ho's vs. the Acolytes

Godfather and Bradshaw start. They brawl for a while. Godfather hits a clothesline and his spinning legdrop. D'lo tags in. He gets kicked in the face and Farooq tags in. D'lo hits the calf kick and his legdrop for 2. Farooq hits a spinebuster. Bradshaw tags in. They hit a double shoulderblock. Farooq tags in. D'lo hits Sky High and tags in Godfather. He takes them both down and hits a slam on Farooq. He goes for the Ho Train and hits it. He goes for a pin and Bradshaw interrupts it. D'lo tags in. Bradshaw makes a blind tag and hits the Clothesline From Hell for 3 at 3:44.

Match was fine. *

- Backstage with the divas. We are crowning the Miss Rumble winner tonight. What was last night then? I thought Mae won?

- All the participants come down from last night. Some dudes in the crowd have "Mae Young" written on their chests in black marker. Now that's dedication. Mae is announced as the winner and everyone boos. Cute. King: "At least those flowers are not wilted, unlike your puppies". Ouch. Mae says the other divas have fake boobs and it leads to a brawl. The refs come down to break it up. That was fucking stupid. Mae starts to strip again and Mark Henry reaffirms his status as the Greatest Man Who Ever Lived by stopping her from showing more.

- Hype video for The Big Show.

- Backstage with HHH and Show. They vow to "eat Rock up". That doesn't sound gay at all.

Match #7

WWF Hardcore Champion Test vs. Big Bossman

They brawl to start. Someone runs down with a nightstick and the match is thrown out at 0:24. The man is Stevie Richards, who is dresses as Test. Test hits a Pumphandle Slam on Richards and goes up top. He comes off with his elbow.

No match. DUD

- We get an update on Terri. They tell us she might be hurt. Well gee, thanks guys!

Match #8

The Rock and Mystery Partner vs. Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsely and The Big Show

The mystery partner is revealed as Rikishi. Show and Rock start. Show dominates early on with headbutts and elbows. He slams Rock but misses an elbow. Rock fights back but gets powerslammed. HHH tags in. He lays in kicks in the corner. Rock hits a DDT out of nowhere for 2. Show tags in. He misses a corner charge and Rikishi tags in. He runs the ass splash in the corner and then superkicks him. HHH distracts Rikishi and that allows Show to hit him with a sidewalk slam. HHH tags in. HHH works him over for a while. He hits the facebuster. He charges at Rikishi and gets hit with a very sloppy Samoan drop. Show and Rock tag in. He lays the Smackdown and DDT's him. HHH gets a spinebuster. He tries to hit Show with a Rockbottom but HHH low blows him behind the refs back. The NAO run down and attack Rikishi for the DQ at 4:18. Road Dogg and Stephanie give them some chairs. Cactus Jack runs down and they clear HHH and Show out of the ring.

Ok main event, but it seemed way too short. It's understandable though given HHH got put through hell at the Rumble and couldn't do much out there. *1/2

Wrestling wise, this show sucked. Not one match I would call good, and some of them actively sucked. Storyline wise, lots of things got moved forward at least. Hopefully the January 27th episode of Smackdown is better. See you then!

WWF Royal Rumble 2000

WWF Royal Rumble 2000

- We are live from The World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden in New York City.

- A video promo for the HHH/Cactus match later on is shown. Something to note is the version I am watching is the WWE 24/7 version of the show, so naturally whenever someone says "WWF" the F is bleeped out. This is not a surprise. What is a surprise however is that during this promo video, some WCW footage was used of Cactus Jack. Clearly at this point WCW was still in business and so obviously WWF did not have the rights to show that footage. So could anyone tell me whether the footage was in the original PPV airing or even the original DVD version from 2000? If not, why did they randomly insert it? Surely WCW didn't let WWF use footage from their show....right?

- Anyway, enough rambling about WCW and blatant copyright violations, I have a show to recap! Your hosts are JR and The King.

Match #1

Kurt Angle vs. Mystery Opponent

What a way to open the show, with one of the greatest debuts in WWF history. Angle has the mic but can barely talk over the huge chants from the NY crowd. I won't spoil what they are chanting just yet. Angle says he is a true champion and that the New York Knicks will never win an NBA title. Angle has decided to be New York's champion tonight. Crowd are chanting again and Angle is being almost drowned out by the crowd. Amazing atmosphere. Angle tells his opponent to come down. His music starts and the crowd go APESHIT as Former ECW champion Tazz comes down. The bell rings and Tazz immediately brawls to start. He elevates Angle outside with a back body drop. Angle counters a suplex attempt on the concrete with one of his own. Angle throws him in and hits a flying forearm for 2. Angle with a foot choke in the corner and a Belly-To-Belly suplex. Angle goes up top but gets crotched and suplexed off to a HUGE pop. That gets 2 as Angle has his foot on the rope. Angle rolls up Tazz for 2. German suplex gets 2. Olympic slam attempt is reversed into a NASTY German suplex as Angle lands on his face. Belly-To-Belly suplex followed by a T-Bone suplex as the crowd go crazy. Tazz locks in the Tazzmission and Angle is out at 3:15. Tazz has ended Angle's streak and EMT's come down to tend to the unconscious Angle. Angle is stretchered out as Tazz is put over as a monster.

Fantastic debut, Angle really made Tazz look like a million dollars. ***

- Interview with the Hardy’s and Terri backstage. They show the scene from last week where Jeff is put through a table. They then show the incident from Smackdown. The Hardy’s tell Terri she is not going out there during the table match.

Match #2 Tag team table match

The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy Boyz

This will rule. Bubba has a mic. He says the NY crowd are ass backwards because they cheer for the Hardy’s. He makes some kind of Baseball reference that I can't understand. He tells the Hardy’s to kiss their asses goodbye. They brawl to start. Bubba bomb on Jeff. Bubba brings in a table. Yes, already. ECW chants from the crowd. Bubba tries to throw Jeff through the table but Matt moved it. DDT by Matt. Jeff leaps outside with a somersault senton onto Bubba. Matt counters a powerbomb attempt through a table but gets a suplex instead. Jeff chairs Bubba in the head and lays him on a table. He tries a leapfrog off of the railing but Bubba stands up and slings the table straight into his face. Bubba puts Matt on the table and goes up top. Matt gets up and stops him. Jeff comes to help and as they try a superplex Dvon moves the table. Matt pulls a ladder out from under the ring as this is practically a TLC match now. Bubba gets hit out of the ring by a ladder. Matt chairshots Bubba twice. Matt puts Bubba on a table and sets up the ladder. Dvon climbs up but gets shoved off. Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash from the top turnbuckle at the same time and Bubba is done. Matt chairshots Dvon. Bubba is up but he is dazed. They prop up a table with the ring and some steel steps and put Dvon on there. Hardy comes off the top and Dvon moves. Jeff then tries a suicide dive and Dvon moves, so Jeff goes through a different table that was set up. Insane. The Dudleys set up a table on two steel steps. Bubba powerbombs Matt from the top rope through the table and he is out. Only Dvon or Jeff needs to be put through a table to win. They go into the crowd. Bubba chairshots Jeff. The Dudleys set up a table in the aisleway. They stack up 3 tables(!) on top of one another and put Matt on the top. Jeff comes in with a chair and nails Dvon, but Bubba takes the chair and nails Jeff. He takes Jeff to a balcony above the tables. He poses but turns his back on Jeff and gets low blowed and chaired in the head. He falls straight through 3 tables from the balcony! Matt sets up another table and puts Dvon on it. Jeff hits a Swanton Bomb from the balcony! That will win it for the Hardy’s at 10:18.

That was absolutely crazy. They killed each other out there and put on a hell of a match. Amazingly, they would go on to better this on numerous occasions. ****

- The EMT's are backstage with Angle, who is still out of it. He isn't sure what happened and says he is still undefeated.

- It is time for the Miss Rumble Swimsuit Contest. Yeah.... Guest judges are Sgt Slaughter, Tony Garea, The Fabulous Moolah, Johnny Valiant and Classy Freddy Blassie. King is the master of ceremonies. He hits an absolute zinger on Finkel as he says "Howard, these girls aren't your type. They aren't inflatable." Even JR laughs. The participants are Ivory, Terri (to a huge pop), Jacqueline (to zero reaction), B.B, Luna (with blatantly dubbed music) and The Kat (who actually got naked at Armageddon 1999). Andy Richter is also a special judge. I have no idea who that is. Ivory is first in a green bikini. Terri is next in a flesh coloured bodysuit...thing. Jacqueline is next in a golden bikini and she can barely keep her...well, breasts in check. B.B is next in a blue and pink bikini. Luna is next and she doesn't want to go so she refuses. The Kat is next as she is only wearing a bubble wrap bikini. King is having a heart attack at this point. At this point Mae Young comes out. Oh god no. She enters herself into the contest. Mae strips and is wearing a purple nightgown. King is laughing and at this point this is kinda funny. Then it turns ugly as Mae takes her nightgown off and shows everyone the world’s oldest boobs. Thank God the censor comes on. Mark Henry then becomes my favourite wrestler of all time by covering her up. Thank you Mark, thank you. The judge’s results are in, and Mae is the winner.

Well, that was...different.

- We cut to WWF New York as poor Coach is mobbed by drunken New Yorkers and can barely talk.

- Jericho and Chyna are backstage arguing about who should wear the belt. Earl Hebner comes along and takes the belt to settle it. Nice touch as Jericho calls him "Dave".

Match #3 - Intercontinental title match

Hardcore Holly vs. Co-Intercontinental champion Chyna vs. Co-Intercontinental champion Chris Jericho

Jericho gets a decent pop. He has a mic and welcomes everyone to Madison Square Jericho. He says the Jericholics will put on a celebration so huge when he wins it will never, EVVVER be forgotten. JR is putting over Chyna huge. Holly cheap shots Chyna and goes after Jericho. Jericho with a hiptoss on Holly. They start slapping each other and Chyna works Holly in the corner. Chyna is sent over the top rope. Holly shoulderblocks Jericho and hits a great dropkick. Jericho hits the flying forearm for 2. JR makes a joke about Man On The Moon to King. Holly gets his feet up on a corner charge but Jericho counters a Hurricanrana attempt into the Walls. Chyna breaks it up to boo's and she hits a back elbow. Chyna clotheslines Holly out. Holly grabs Jericho’s legs but he moves out of the way and Chyna baseball slides Holly. Jericho leaps off the top rope and crossbodies Holly. Chyna tosses Jericho in and hits the handspring elbow and a DDT. Holly breaks it up at 2. Chyna is tosses outside. Chyna pulls the rope down as Jericho hits it and he is sent outside. Holly knocks Jericho out and has a chair. Chyna dropkicks it into Holly's face. Back in, Chyna and Jericho go up top and hit a stereo splash for a 2. Chyna hits a low blow on Jericho behind the refs back. She hits a shitty Pedigree on Holly but he kicks out at 2. She goes up top but Holly gets her on his shoulders and Jericho hits a crossbody onto her for 2. Holly hits a superkick to Jericho and goes up top. Jericho heads him off but he gets crotched by Chyna. He falls out of the ring. Chyna superplexes Holly off the top. Holly rolls through into the cover and gets 2. Holly pulls Jericho in while Chyna has a chair. She hits Holly behind the refs back. Pretty heel thing to do. She locks in the Walls on Holly but Jericho breaks it up with a bulldog. He lionsaults Holly and gets 3 at 7:18 to become the IC champ.

Wasn't that good, Chyna dragged both men down here. Still watchable though. *3/4

- Rock is backstage with Cole. Typical Rock interview here, so I won't recap it. Ok I lied, this interview is glorious. Hilarious promo as he says Headbanger Mosh and Crash Holly are the biggest threats to The Rock tonight. He tells Cole to make a glass of "Shut up Juice" and that he wipes his ass with what the Big Show thinks.

Match #4 - WWF Tag Team Championships

WWF Tag Team champions The New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes

Amazing reception for the NAO as they run through the catchphrases. Man, they were over. The Acolytes sprint out and immediately start brawling. Ass with a dropkick that has no effect on Bradshaw. He goes for a crossbody but gets caught. Cute bit as Dogg charges at Bradshaw and gets kicked in the face while he is still holding Mr Ass. Nice fallaway slam by Bradshaw. Farooq tags in. Dogg gets a foot up on a corner charge but gets powerslammed. Ha, Farooq does the little dance Dogg used to do. He goes for the Dominator but Ass interrupts. Farooq clotheslines them both. Dogg hits the Shake Rattle and Roll punches. He tries the Epileptic Kneedrop of Death (Ok, I can't remember the real name of it. Sue me.) but Bradshaw yanks him down by the hair. Mr Ass comes in and it turns into a brawl. Ass misses a corner splash and Bradshaw hits a HUGE Clothesline From Hell. Farooq hits a spinebuster but the ref is pulled out by Mr Ass. Bradshaw attacks Mr Ass and the ref gets bumped. Xpac runs in and kicks Bradshaw but he gets spinebustered. Mr Ass comes in amid the chaos and hits the Fameasser for 3 at 2:36 to retain the titles.

It's a shame they had their match time significantly shortened. Maybe the swimsuit thing went on too long. *

Match #5 - WWF Championship Street Fight

Cactus Jack vs. WWF Champion Triple HHH w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsely

Urgh, really? Cactus' music is dubbed with his old WCW music (at least I think it is). That is ridiculous. I hate 24/7 sometimes. Stephanie goes to the back, so HHH is alone. Jack unloads on HHH to begin. They brawl for a while. HHH escapes to the outside and Cactus hits a neckbreaker on the outside. Cactus hits a legdrop as HHH tries to enter the ring. Cactus rams HHH's head into the steps and into the ringbell. HHH grabs the bell and hits Cactus with it. He tosses a chair into the ring and tells Cactus to come after him. Cactus charges and gets hit with the chair right into the side of his face. That looked nasty. HHH takes the turnbuckle padding off but Cactus clotheslines HHH down. He grabs the chair and puts it on HHH's face. He legdrops the chair into his face for a 2. Cactus is just nailing HHH with right hands and stomps. They brawl outside some more and Cactus backdrops HHH over the barrier into the crowd. They fight each other into the crowd. They fight into the entranceway. Jack sets up some wooden pallets and suplexes HHH right onto them. (The arena is set up like a back alley in case you are confused) Jack with a trashcan to HHH's face. He sends HHH into the door of the entranceway several times, which looks like a warehouse shutter. HHH back suplexes Jack onto a trashcan. Someone in the crowd calls them "pussies". Yep, that guy is an idiot. They brawl some more and end up back at ringside. He hits a running knee on HHH right into the steel steps. HHH is tosses back in. Jack gets a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire from under the ring. HHH low blows Cactus and grabs the 2X4. He whacks Cactus in the stomach and back with it repeatedly. Cactus hits HHH and rams the 2X4 into HHH's groin. The ref gets rid of the 2X4 as Jack hits a Double Arm DDT for 2. Jack threatens the ref and takes out one of the Spanish announcers to get his 2X4 back. HHH tries to charge at Jack but Jack dodges and he hits the ref. He smacks HHH right in the face with it twice. That gets a 2. These 2 are just murdering each other out there. Jack hits HHH in the face again. HHH is bleeding heavily as Jack grates the wire into HHH's face. More brawling outside. Man, HHH is a mess. He rams HHH into the announce table. Jack goes for a piledriver through the table but HHH reverses it into a back body drop. That looked sick. HHH is also bleeding from his leg. HHH tosses Jack back in. HHH goes for a Pedigree but Jack counters into a catapult into the turnbuckle. He bulldogs HHH right onto the 2X4 for 2. Jack hits the Cactus clothesline. Jack charges at HHH but gets hiptossed into the steps. A classic Foley spot there. Jack gets sent into the steps again. HHH works on the left knee with a chopblock. They crawl back into the ring. HHH takes out the knee again. He has the 2X4. He whacks Cactus right in the knee. HHH fetches some handcuffs. He tries to tie Jack's arms behind his back in a nice recall to Royal Rumble 1999. Jack blocks it but HHH goes for the knee and ties his hands behind his back successfully. HHH grabs the steps and brings them into the ring. Jack dropkicks HHH's feet and HHH drops the steps and falls face first into them. Jack manages to drop an elbow onto HHH's...well, penis area. Jack starts biting his ear. HHH gains the advantage again and has a chair. He starts hitting Jack with it and it breaks on his back. That was a cool visual. HHH goes out there and hits a chairshot. Jack tells HHH to hit him again. The Rock appears out of nowhere and whacks HHH with a chair! A cop comes out and takes off the cuffs. Jack starts beating down HHH and they go onto the other announce table. Jack hits a piledriver right onto the table in a sick spot. The table doesn’t break, which I think actually helped the spot there. Jack rolls HHH into the ring and grabs a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out and tries to stop the match. Jack gets backdropped right onto the tacks. HHH hits the Pedigree but Jack kicks out to a HUGE pop. HHH hits another one onto the tacks and that will finally get 3 at 26:51 to retain the title. HHH is stretchered out but Jack wheels him back into the arena. He throws him into the ring and hits him with the 2X4.

That was fucking fantastic. They went out there and absolutely destroyed each other and put on a hell of a match. Note to future wrestlers, THIS is how to do a hardcore match. ****3/4

- Coach is at WWF New York again. He interviews Linda McMahon who says some words that I didn't listen to.

Match #6

The Royal Rumble

D'lo Brown is #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. King is annoyed at this. For those who don't know, Sexay is King's son. They never acknowledged it on WWF TV but they made a lot of little nods to it. They brawl for a while. I'll just report on the bigger moments otherwise this match recap will be huge. D'lo goes for a running powerbomb but Sexay reverses into a frankensteiner. Sexay hits a missile dropkick from the top. D'lo is almost tossed out but he holds on. Headbanger Mosh is #3. He is wearing a cone shaped green bra. In a hilarious moment, Kai En Tai run in and get immediately tossed out. This happens a lot in this rumble. D'lo hits the Sky High on Mosh. Christian is #4. Rikishi is #5 to a HUGE pop. Mosh is tossed out. He suplexes Christian and throws him out. D'lo legdrops Rikishi but he no sells and hits the Rikishi Driver. D'lo is tossed out as well and it's just Sexay and Rikishi left. Scotty Too Hotty is #6 and he has the glasses. They dance in the middle of the Rumble in a great moment. Rikishi tosses them both out and then finishes the dance. Man I miss Rikishi. Steve Blackman is #7. They fight for a while but Blackman gets caught with the Rikishi Driver. He's tossed out. Viscera is #8. Viscera hits a huge suplex on Rikishi and then hits a legdrop. He splashes Rikishi in the corner. He misses another corner charge and gets tossed out. Rikishi is on a roll here. Big Bossman is #9. He refuses to get into the ring and instead circles the ring. Test is #10 to a big pop. Bossman and Test brawl outside. He throws Bossman into the ring. The British Bulldog is #11 to represent the UK. Rikishi goes for a Banzai Drop but the Bulldog low blows him to stop him. Gangrel is #12. Kai En Tai run in again and get immediately tossed out. The replay shows Taka smacked his head on the floor. That looked painful. Edge is #13. Rikishi hits the Banzai Drop on Bossman. King asks if they can see Taka being thrown out again and they show it. King also calls him "Chinese". Heh. Bob Backlund is #14 to a HUGE reaction. MSG knows their history. Everyone teams up and Rikishi is eliminated. Jericho is #15. He eliminates Backlund. Crash Holly is #16. Chyna is #17. She goes straight after Jericho and suplexes him out. Bossman eliminates Chyna straight after. Haha, Bossman is standing on Crash. No clue why I laughed at that. Farooq is #18. The Mean Street Posse run in and attacks Farooq and Bossman throws Farooq out. Road Dogg is #19. I should mention Crash has done nothing but get destroyed the whole match so far. Al Snow is #20. Road Dogg eliminates Bulldog. Val Venis is #21. Funaki runs in AGAIN and everyone immediately tosses him out. This is hilarious. King calls him Chinese again. They show the Taka head bump again. Prince Albert is #22. Edge is eliminated by Snow and Venis. Funny moment as Crash goes after Albert and gets tossed away like a basketball. He then stands up and gets kicked in the face by Bossman. Poor Crash. Hardcore Holly is #23. Not much happening. The Rock is #24 and the crowd go apeshit. Bossman is eliminated by Rock. Crash gets powerbombed by Test in the background. That looked brutal. Mr Ass is #25. Crash is finally eliminated by Rock. The Big Show is #26. Test is tossed out by Show. So is Gangrel. Show press slams Holly. I hate when people do that, just toss them out for God’s sake. Bradshaw is #27. The Posse run in again and attack Bradshaw and that distracts him enough for the NAO to eliminate him. Farooq comes back out and the Posse and the Acolytes brawl to the back. Kane is #28. Val Venis is tossed out by his throat in a cool moment. The Godfather is #29 to a big pop. Kane eliminates Prince Albert during Godfather's entrance. Funaki runs in again and Snow tosses him out again. King asks to see the Taka elimination again and they show it. King makes another Chinese joke. X-Pac is #30. Hardcore Holly is eliminated by Al Snow. Godfather is tossed out by Big Show. Snow is clotheslined out by Rock. Mr Ass gets rid of Road Dogg. Mr Ass is eliminated by Kane.

Final Four: Kane, The Rock, Big Show, X-Pac.

Kane goes out to attack the NAO. Rock tosses X-Pac but the refs don't see it and he goes back in. Kane scoop slams Show but X-Pac eliminates Kane and hits the Bronco buster on Show. Show presses X-Pac out. Show and Rock are left. Rock signals for the People's Elbow and hits it. He goes to toss him out but Show blocks it and chokeslams Rock. He goes to throw him out but Rock holds onto the top rope and reverses it to win the Rumble at 51:51. The Rock is going to Wrestlemania. Rock has a mic. He says that finally, he is going to Wrestlemania. He tries to finish his interview but Show comes back and throws Rock out of the ring.

Great Rumble, it's hard to screw this match up and thankfully they didn't. Some fun moments with Crash Holly and Kai En Tai as well as the running gag of King calling them Chinese. A few dull spots aside, a very good Rumble. ***3/4

Fantastic show, it had everything you could possibly want from a quality PPV. The Cactus/HHH match was a classic, the Rumble itself was great, the opener was one of the greatest debuts ever, the tables match was insane, and even the Tag title match was ok despite its short length. I highly recommend you check this show out for yourselves. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all for the January 24th episode of RAW.

WWF Sunday Night HeAT - 23/01/00

Sunday Night HeAT - 23/01/00

- The usual opening video to start.

Match #1

Christian vs Steve Blackman

The commentators are discussing the rules of the Rumble. Umm, guys, I THINK people might just know the rules already. Just saying. Blackman starts with a shoulder block but misses an elbow. Christian went for a monkey flip but Blackman holds on. Blackman is dropkicked out of the ring. Back in and Blackman with some punches and chops. Christian reverses a back body drop and tosses Blackman out. Nice plancha to the outside by Christian. They fight to the apron and Blackman hits a nice gutwrench facebuster onto the ring steps. Blackman drops Christian on the barricade and poses in the ring to boos. Blackman tosses Christian back in. Irish whip into a backbreaker and he stomps away on Christian. Blackman hits the CHINLOCK OF DEATH. Christian fights out and hits a crossbody for 2. Blackman with his shitty chop to facebuster...thing he used to do. He drops some elbows. Christian gets elevated to the apron on a corner charge and tries to go up top. Blackman tries to throw him off but Christian reverses into a roll-up for 3 at 4:05. Al Snow runs in after the match and they attack Christian. Edge runs in and makes the save.

Wasn't bad or anything, just forgettable. *1/4

- A promo airs for the Rumble, hyping up The Rock and Big Show's rivalry as well as looking back at the triple threat match from Smackdown between Kane, Big Show and Rock.

- Another video, this time it's Royal Rumble moment #1, featuring Shawn Michaels winning the match in 1995.

Match #2

The Godfather w/ Ho's, D'lo Brown w/ stupidest hat I have ever seen and Prince Albert vs. The Headbangers w/ cone shaped bras and Big Boss Man

Usual catchphrases from The Godfather. Albert is suddenly a face? How random. I should also mention the great pop D'lo got. Godfather and Bossman starts off. Bossman wants Godfather to tag in Albert and he does. Bossman then tags in Mosh and escapes. Mosh with punches in the corner. Albert throws him off and immediately hits the Baldo bomb. He tags in Godfather. Mosh gets a boot up on a corner charge and hits a clothesline. Thrasher tags in but gets clotheslined down. Leg drop by Godfather. D'lo tags in. Thrasher rakes the eyes and brings in Mosh. He runs up and gets powerslammed by D'lo. Calf kick by D'lo. Running powerbomb is reversed into a facebuster and Bossman tags in. Big boot by Bossman. Bossman with a shot to the throat and Thrasher tags in. Double clothesline and both men are down. Albert and Mosh tag in and Albert is taking everyone down. Albert goes for a press slam on Mosh but Bossman chopblocks the legs and Mosh falls on top for 3 at 3:50. Albert chases after Bossman after the bell.

Fun match, decent energy throughout. **

- Big Show is interviewed backstage by Coach. He promises to win it and looks fairly stoned. He says he got screwed out of a title rematch so he will win the Rumble and get it that way.

- Promo airs hyping up the Intercontinental title triple threat match.

- Royal Rumble moment #2 is Vince winning the Rumble from last year.

- The WWF Slam of the Week is Test winning the hardcore title.

- Cactus Jack is interviewed backstage. He says the people at home are watching the calm before the storm and that he will walk out with the title tonight.

Match #3

Edge vs. Al Snow w/ Head

This is a follow up to the situation between Blackman and Christian earlier. They lock up and Snow quickly rolls through and tries a leg lock. Edge fights out and hits a dropkick, hip toss and an arm drag in quick succession. Snow with a scoop slam and a springboard leg drop from the apron for 2. He stomps away in the corner. Edge reverses an Irish whip but gets elevated to the apron. He yanks Snow down and hits a crossbody off the top for 2. Snow beats Edge down. Edge ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick. He charges at Snow but gets tosses out of the ring. Snow rams him into the barricade. Back in, Snow hits a back elbow. Edge with some shots to the stomach but gets caught in a nice spinning neckbreaker for 2. Snow chokes Edge while he is draped over the apron. Nice counter sequence ends with Edge hitting an enziguri. Back body drop by Edge. Edge slides underneath Snow's legs while he is in the corner and pulls him crotch first into the ring post. Inverted atomic drop and clothesline gets 2. Snow has had enough of the match and hits Edge with Head for the DQ at 5:52.

Pointless finish, but the match was ok. *1/2

Decent show, was essentially a hype job for the Rumble but that is to be expected. See you next time for the Royal Rumble!

WWF Smackdown - 20/01/00

WWF Smackdown - January 20th 2000

Before I start, my version of Smackdown I am watching has some segments missing, mainly recap videos and the like. This recap will be mainly matches unfortunately. Feel free to get a refund from my public relations guy. :)

- Show opens with DX backstage. HHH praises them for destroying the Acolytes on RAW. He gives the NAO the night off. He gives Xpac a match with Test, and the winner gets number 30 in the Rumble. HHH says Cactus Jack isn't in the building.

- Usual opening video.

- The Big Show comes out in a stupid jacket and hat. Big "Rocky" chants. Show says he probably should apologise for not being what the crowd wants him to be. He says he will never be The Rock. Show says he takes time out of his day to sign peoples autographs and gets booed for it. He says he knows why the crowd boos him: because the people can never be 7 foot 2, 500 pounds. He says it drives the fans nuts they can't be as dominating as him. Show tells the crowd The Rock can't win the Rumble because he has to get past him. Show says he hates The Rock. Show calls out Rock. Rock comes out on stage. Rock begins with the usual. Rock tells Show he is the most impressive physical specimen in the WWF and yet he complains and whines. Rock says there is a lesson to be learned: When you insult The Rock, you insult the people. This leaves The Rock two choices. He could go to the back, wait till Sunday and eliminate him in the Rumble. Or he could just walk down the people's ramp and kick Show's ass all over Providence. Kane comes out with Tori. She has the mic. She says it's funny that those 2 think they are the only ones capable of winning the Rumble. She says 28 others think they can win it as well. She says only Kane can win the Rumble. He starts to walk down. HHH and Steph come out to huge boos. HHH says the one thing he hates is egomaniacs. He uses the phrase "put over". He says the fact is they are all fighting for a chance to fight The Game. He says whoever wins the Rumble will be left disappointed when HHH wins at Wrestlemania. He puts Kane, Rock and Show against each other in an over-the-top rope Triple Threat Lumberjack match. Why have Lumberjacks then? Big "slut" chants for Steph. HHH: "Don't talk about Tori like that". Heh. Rock starts talking trash to HHH and Big Show sneaks up on him and attacks. Kane attacks Big Show and Rock goes and gets a chair. He takes them both out with chair shots.

Decent opening, pretty long though. Still don't get why we need lumberjacks, they don't play into the match at all.

Match #1 - Winner gets #30 at the Rumble
Xpac vs WWF Hardcore Champion Test

They lockup and Test overpowers Xpac. He peels the protective facemask off Test. Test with a back elbow and a clothesline over the top. Xpac does the old "run away and lure opponent towards you" spot and sends Test into the steps. He tosses Test back in and they brawl. Spinning sidewalk slam gets 2 for Test. Test gets a boot on a corner charge but he responds with one of his own. He slams Xpac down and goes up for the elbow. The NAO comes down and distracts the ref while one of them knocks Test off the top. Xpac hits the X factor for 3 at 2:10. He will be number #30 at the Rumble.

Match was short but decent. *

- DX celebrate backstage.

- Steve Blackman and Al Snow walk backstage. Steve tells Al not to screw up tonight. Al makes a crack about Steve's lack of personality. Heh. So true.

Match #2
Kurt Angle and The British Bulldog vs Steve Blackman and Al Snow w/ Head

Whoa, the Bulldog. Awesome. Angle has the mic. He is talking about the mystery opponent he has at the Rumble. Nice cheap heat as he calls Providence "a depressed town." Sign: Fat Dave is a virgin. Blackman and Angle start. Blackman immediately gets Angle in the corner. Belly-to-belly by Angle. He tags in the Bulldog. Back elbow by Bulldog. He goes for the running powerslam early but Blackman escapes and hits an bicycle kick. He goes up top and hits a kick to the face for the 3 at 1:13. Wow, poor Bulldog. Snow tries to celebrate but Blackman isn't biting.

Complete squash. Man, Davey Boy fell far from his peak. His downward spiral was really sad to watch until his death in 2002. Match was a DUD.

Match #3
Matt Hardy w/ Jeff Hardy and Knockers vs Dvon Dudley w/ Bubba Ray Dudley

Dvon charges in and we are underway. Announcers say Hardy's will face the Dudley's at the Rumble in a tag team table match. Hardy hits a neckbreaker for 2. Dvon gets elbowed on a corner charge. Hardy with a scoop slam and a second rope elbow for 2. Hardy misses his own corner charge and ends up on the second rope. Dvon neckbreakers him off for 2. Dvon gets sent into the corner but he lifts Hardy to the apron when he tries a corner charge. Hardy hits a nice split legged moonsault for 2. Twist of Fate hits but Bubba Ray pulls him out of the ring for the DQ at 1:42. He sends Matt into the steps and flapjacks Jeff onto the railing. ChairshotsBubba sets up 2 tables on the concrete below the stage. Dvon has Matt. Bubba grabs him and signals for the powerbomb but Jeff hits him with a chair to break it up. He hits Bubba again and he goes crashing through one of the tables! He gets Dvon and puts him on the other one. Matt charges and lands a legdrop from the stage to Dvon through the table! That was awesome.

Match was OK, post match stuff ruled. Call the match itself 3/4*.

Match #4
The Big Bossman vs Prince Albert

So who is the face in this feud? Oh fuck, Albert has a mic. Albert says Bossman taught him a lot, but tonight the student will beat the master. They brawl to start. Big shock. Shoulderblock by Albert. Bossman escapes to the outside and tries to pull Albert out, but he kicks Bossman into the announce table. He rams Bossman's back into the ringpost and gets 2 inside the ring. More brawling. Clothesline by Bossman. And yet more brawling. Albert charges Bossman in the corner and flattens him. He slingshots Bossman's neck into the second rope. They go outside and Bossman takes out the ref. The ref calls for the DQ at 2:02. They keep fighting after the match.

Match blew of course, unless you really like punches. 1/2*

- Rock is interviewed backstage by Lillian. Rock says we have a strange situation, on one hand you have a retard, and on the other hand you have Kane. Heh. Rock says he has something the others don't: The Rockbottom and the People's Elbow. He also says they will never have the Rock's fans chanting their name. He hits the catchphrase.

Match #5
Viscera vs Crash Holly

Good god, who did I piss off to have to watch a Viscera match? Another #13 vignette plays as Viscera makes his way out. Crash is immediately tossed out of the ring. Crash comes back and tries some punches. He gets pushed away. Crash goes for a headbutt. Smooth. Viscera hits his shitty spinning heel kick. Crash gets thrown into the turnbuckle a few times. Viscera charges but misses. Crash with a springboard DDT but Viscera kicks out at 2. Crash goes up and hits a springboard dropkick. He tries again and gets Samoan Dropped. Big splash misses. Crash tries a victory roll. What an idiot. He gets powerbombed. Big splash hits this time for 3 at 2:38.

This gets *, all thanks to Crash. He bumped like a pinball for Viscera here.

Match #6
Edge vs Gangrel w/ Luna

Announcers say Edge will be a judge for the swimsuit contest. This becomes important later. They lockup. Gangrel with a cheap shot and he starts working Edge in the corner. Edge counters with a back body drop and a dropkick. They botch a Irish whip sequence but they salvage it with a nice reversal sequence that ends with a Russian leg sweep by Edge for 2. Gangrel escapes outside. Edge with a big crossbody to the outside. Luna whispers something in Edge's ear and they are talking. The rest of the divas come out and all try to convince Edge they should win the swimsuit contest. Mae Young kisses Edge and he gets counted out at 2:13.

Match was just there, the finish was stupid and I had to watch Mae Young kiss Edge. DUD

Match #7 - Over-The-Top Rope Triple Threat Lumberjack match
Kane w/ Tori vs The Big Show vs The Rock

Show and Rock brawl to start. Kane and Show begin double teaming him. Kane goes after Show. They brawl. Rock DDT's Kane and goes after Show. He lays the Smackdown. Kane and Rock try to toss Show out but he escapes. They double team Show. Big double clothesline by Show. Kane with an enziguri (!) to Show and Rock slams Shows head into the mat. Big boot by Kane onto Rock. Kane works Rock over in the corner. He tries to toss him out. Kane and Show start brawling again. Big powerslam by Show. Rock goes after Show. Rock is almost tossed out but he grabs the rope and clotheslines Show down. Kane comes off the top with a clothesline. Tombstone attempt is reversed into a Russian leg sweep. Show chokeslams Rock over the top rope. He chokeslams Kane. Rock runs back in and hits a Rockbottom. Kane clotheslines Rock out again. Show charges Kane but gets tossed out at 4:09! Pretty surprised Kane won. Bossman attacks Kane from behind and all the Lumberjacks start a mass brawl in the ring.

Decent match, short but they packed a lot in and stuck to their limitations well. Solid stuff. **

- Xpac, HHH and Steph are backstage. They congratulate him on being #30.

- HHH and Steph make their way down. HHH says the Rumble makes him think of the old Rumbles. Specifically, last years Rumble (which was shit by the way). He says it was one year ago when two best friends beat the hell out of each other. He shows footage on the titantron of Mankind vs The Rock from Royal Rumble '99 in the infamous I Quit match in which Mankind was legitimately knocked unconscious and suffered several concussions. HHH says Foley's wife and kids were sat in the front row crying. HHH says they were crying because Foley is a loser and a failure. He gives Cactus Jack a warning: Don't bring your children and wife to the Rumble because what The Rock did last year is nothing compared to what HHH will do. HHH says he will love every second of it. Jack makes his way out to a huge pop. He says HHH is right, his kids did suffer at the Rumble. He says HHH is wrong, he isn't worried about them seeing what will happen to him, he is worried they will see what Jack will do to HHH. Jack says he will have some surprises at the Rumble. He says he will turn HHH into the worlds largest pincushion on Sunday. He says his kids are watching Smackdown right now, and he doesn't want to deprive them of some action. They start brawling. HHH gets Foley on the announce table but Jack low blows him and hits a piledriver through the table! He hits HHH with a chair and celebrates to end the show. HUGE sign in the crowd: HHH SUCKS JACK'S CACTUS. Nice.

Good show with plenty of wrestling and good angle development. Although I really did not need to see Bulldog get squashed like that. Oh, and Viscera fucking sucks.

See you for the last show before the Rumble, Sunday Night HeAT from the 23rd of January.

WWF RAW is RAW - January 17th 2000

- Some video of Martin Luther King is shown with a Vince McMahon voiceover.

- Tonight, we get an update on Stone Cold Steve Austin.

- We recap last weeks RAW and Smackdown, including the reveal of Cactus Jack.

- Usual RAW opening video plays.

- Cactus Jack makes his way down. And the first thing he does when he speaks is mess up the word "congratulations". He "conglatulates" HHH on doing the impossible: making Mankind mad. He tells HHH he should have known there was a sick SOB deep down inside. He said when he got busted open with the ringbell, he kinda liked it, because it awoke the SOB inside him. Jack takes it to the titantron where footage is played from a HHH vs Cactus Jack match from September 1997 at MSG. Jack says after the beating he has took over the years a normal man would have stopped fighting, but he isn't a normal man. Jack says Mankind will return one day, but not for a while. Jack says he doesn't regret all the pain he has took over the years, because it made him what he is, a bad SOB. He says Sunday, he will take all of his aggression out on HHH. He says his new attire isn't a change in outfit, it's a change of mindset. He says he will kick HHH's pansy ass at the Rumble. He calls out HHH. HHH comes out on stage alone. HHH says for the last 4 days he has only thought about Cactus Jack. He admits he wouldn't have chose a street fight at the Rumble, but he says he will pull out all the stops to keep the title. HHH tells Jack as sadistic as he is, HHH can be even more evil than Jack can imagine. HHH says he figured something out: As sick as Jack is, Mick Foley hates Cactus Jack and is afraid of him. HHH says the difference between them is when Jack gets to that level of evilness, Foley resents it, but when HHH gets to that level, he loves it. He tells Jack to be afraid because he will bring it at the Rumble. Jack has a question about tonight: Will HHH get in the ring with him right now? HHH says he would love to, but then invites a few more "guests": DX. Jack goes out to meet them and a brawl erupts. The Rock comes out (complete with a music problem) but Big Show attacks him from behind. Now Show starts attacking DX, and the Acolytes run in and attack the NAO. Acolytes and NAO fight through the crowd and out of sight, Xpac runs off and Jack and HHH are brawling. HHH runs away through the crowd. That got pretty confusing at the end.

- We look back at moments ago.

Match #1
WWF Hardcore Champion The Big Bossman vs Test

This is a title match. Another #13 vignette is shown on the titantron before the match. They immediately fight into the crowd. Nothing but punches here folks. They are fighting backstage and it's pitch black. Bossman sends Test into a bathroom. Test sends Bossman through some cubicles. Someone was sitting on one of the toilets and they shout something. Back in the corridor and Test is trapped under a shutter door. Bossman gets a 2 count. Test fires back with some rights and he starts choking Bossman with toilet paper. Yes, I'm serious. They fight back into the crowd. Test gets smacked with a trashcan. Prince Albert runs in and is immediately hit with the trashcan. Bossman gets a 2 inside the ring. Bossman has the nightstick but Albert comes in and starts brawling with the Bossman. Test nails them both and throws out Albert. Test goes up top with the nightstick and hits an elbow from the top with the nightstick for 3 at 4:15 to become the new Hardcore champion. The time is a rough guess seeing as the bell never actually rung to start the match.

Typical trainwreck hardcore match, complete with really sloppy production work. 1/2*

- Backstage with DX. He puts the NAO in a match with Rock and Big Show. HHH tells Xpac they face the Acolytes.

- We see Terri backstage. My god those tits.

- Coach interviews The Bossman. He promises revenge on Albert tonight.

Match #2
The Godfather and D'lo Brown w/ Ho's vs Edge and Christian

Christian starts with D'lo. He works over Christian in the corner. Christian fires back and sends D'lo into the corner. Christian hits a hiptoss and a dropkick. Edge tags in. Spinning heel kick by Edge and a lariat. D'lo with a knee to the stomach. He tags in Godfather. Sloppy clothesline by Godfather. He hits a kick and drops a couple of elbows for 2. D'lo tags in. Edge with a Lou Thesz Press for 2. D'lo tags in Godfather. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ hit, as does a scoop slam. He goes up top and tries a splash but Edge gets the knees up. Hot tag and Christian and D'lo tag in. Crowd is DEAD. Christian hits an inverted atomic drop. Godfather comes in and gets speared by Edge. D'lo whips Christian into the apron where a ho is standing and she gets injured. Edge goes to check on her and D'lo hits Sky High on Christian for 3 at 3:51. Godfather has a mic. He gives Edge some Ho's for the night.

That sucked. Really sloppy and boring. 1/4*

-  Bossman is beating on Albert backstage. He throws him into a woman's locker room and Tori is in there. Gonna guess Kane destroys Albert later.

- Tori comes into DX's locker room and wants Kane to face Albert. Steph obliges.

Match #3
Kurt Angle vs Mystery Opponent

Angle has a mic. He says tonight's opponent is a mystery but he is still confident. His opponent is...Steve Blackman. That was underwhelming. Blackman begins with some generic martial art offense. Angle with a belly-to-belly suplex. He works over Blackman in the corner. Sign: Mideon = Ratings. Angle goes for a slam of some sort but Steve escapes and they hit a double clothesline. They trade punches. Blackman with a shoulderblock. He clotheslines Angle out. Angle sends Blackman into the post. The British Bulldog comes out and hits Blackman with a kendo stick. That will get Angle a 3 at 2:18. Why Bulldog? So confused.

Match was there. 3/4*

- Coach interviews The Big Show. He says he isn't a fan of The Rock and tries to say to the fans he hasn't turned on them. He tells Rock just to let him deal with the NAO.

- We see The Kat oiling up her legs backstage. King almost has a heart attack. Well, he was banging her at the time.

- Video for The Big Show is aired.

- Terri comes to the ring. King and some divas are already in there. King says there will be a swimsuit contest at the Rumble. He interviews all the participants: Terri, The Kat, Ivory, Jacqueline, Luna (why?) and BB. Ivory tells King he is a pervert, his reaction is essentially "yeah, so?" They devolve into a fight of course. They have a dogpile. Oh god, Mae Young comes out. This is taking forever to get to the point. Then again, I don't think I want it to get that far. She begins to strip. MY EYES THEY BURN. Mark Henry covers her up before she can strip. Thank god. Thank you Mark, I am a fan for life.

- The Acolytes and HHH & Xpac are walking backstage.

- The Slam Of The Week is Test winning the hardcore title from earlier.

Match #4
WWF Champion HHH and Xpac w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs The Acolytes

Brawl to start. Steph is on commentary. Bradshaw is destroying HHH while Farooq is beating on Xpac. Xpac and Farooq are fighting in the ring. Bradshaw slams HHH on the stage. The Acolytes start beating on Xpac in the ring. Farooq and Xpac are the legal men. Farooq interrupts an Xpac crotch chop with a huge lariat. Bradshaw tags in. He misses a corner charge and gets hit with kicks. Xpac tries a heel kick but gets caught. Bradshaw takes him up top but HHH saves Xpac. Xpac tries a crossbody from the top but gets caught and fallaway slammed. Xpac with a heel kick. He tags in HHH and Farooq tags in too. Facebuster by HHH. Farooq hits a huge spinebuster and Xpac gets clotheslined by Bradshaw. The NAO run in for the DQ at 3:58. DX beat down the Acolytes.

Meh. *

- We cut to a special report by Michael Cole. He is talking about Stone Cold's surgery. It cuts to his surgeon and the poor man looks terrified at the public speaking he is being forced to do. He genuinely looks like he has been photographed having sex with a teenager, just complete terror and confusion written on his face. He kinda looks like a cross between Pat Patterson and Jay Leno actually.

- The Rock is watching a monitor backstage.

- A promo video for Rock is shown.

- DX are backstage celebrating as we look back at moments ago.

- Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. Rock hits the catchphrase to begin. He wants to talk about Stone Cold. He congratulates Austin on a successful neck surgery. He tells Austin to come back quickly. Rock says Big Show isn't a jabroni, he is a 7 foot 500 pound monkey crap. He says to Show to read his lips and he spells jabroni. He guarantees he will win the Royal Rumble and win the title. Rock says he doesn't need or want Big Show as a partner, and he wants Big Show to stand on the apron and do the one impressive thing he does: He then grunts and raises his hand. Heh. He ends with the usual.

- Jericho is warming up backstage.

Match #5
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Breasts vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley

Bubba comes charging into the ring and we are underway. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind from the top. Jeff with a nice springboard bulldog for 2. Bubba escapes to the outside and Jeff hits a swanton over the top. Jeff goes for a frankensteiner but gets reversed into a powerbomb. Bubba with the chops in the corner. Back body drop and a lariat from Bubba. Headscissors by Jeff but he gets Bubba Bombed. Breasts distracts the ref and Dvon pulls her down. Matt attacks Dvon but gets dropped on the security railing. Back in the ring, Bubba goes for a senton and misses. Jeff hits a neckbreaker and goes up top. Swanton Bomb will get 3 at 2:47. Dvon attacks Jeff after the match. The Dudleys hit a 3D on both Hardys. Bubba gets a table. Jeff gets put onto the table and Bubba powerbombs Matt onto Jeff through the table! Pretty decisive ass whooping by the Dudleys.

Match was decent while it lasted. *1/2

- The Hollys are backstage. As usual Hardcore Holly can't talk properly.

- Backstage with Chyna and The Kat. They yap about Jericho defending the title tonight against Rikishi.

Match #6
Rikishi w/ Too Cool vs WWF Co-Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho

Jericho welcomes us to RAW is Jericho. He explains he is defending the belt because he is an honourable champion. He calls Rikishi "Rockasichi". He says he is a great dancer but for now he will have to destroy Rikishi. Jericho hits a missile dropkick. He runs into Rikishi and gets flapjacked. He rolls outside and Rikishi sends him into the steps a few times. Springboard dropkick by Jericho. He tries a plancha and gets caught and driven into the ring post. Back in, Rikishi hits the laziest powerslam I've ever seen and hits a legdrop for 2 BROTHA! Jericho tries a flying forearm and hits the ref. Belly-to-belly by Rikishi. He calls for the Banzai drop and Hardcore and Crash run in and get destroyed by Rikishi with Samoan drops. Jericho goes on the attack and gets superkicked. He goes for the Rikishi Driver but Chyna runs in and hits a low blow on Rikishi. Chyna and Y2J get double clotheslined. Rikishi hits Chyna with a belly-to-belly suplex. He goes to Banzai drop Chyna and Holly hits him with a chair for the DQ at 3:27. Too Cool run in to save Rikishi. I should note the crowd is completely dead for this. Rikishi hits a huge Rikishi Driver on Crash. Too Cool dance after the match.

Overbooked but very entertaining and it really put Rikishi over as a monster. The crowd were into him by the end of the match. *3/4

- We look back at Albert and Bossman fighting earlier.

- Weird hype video for Kane is shown to some opera music. I don't think opera when I imagine Kane chokeslamming D'lo Brown. Just saying.

- Cactus Jack and Big Show talk backstage about The Rock.

Match #7
Kane w/ Tori vs Prince Albert w/ No hope

Albert charges in and immediately gets beat down. That was smooth. Big lariat takes down Albert. Kane with elbows and kicks in the corner. Kane gets elbowed on a corner charge and Albert hits a scissor kick. Albert clotheslines Kane out but he gets his neck snapped on the top rope. Kane goes up and hits the clothesline. Kane hits the chokeslam for 3 at 1:18. Albert gets the mic after the match and tells Kane he likes to be dominated by a woman. Err, what?

Complete squash. 1/4*

- Backstage with Cactus Jack and The Rock. Jack is telling Rock he should keep as many friends as possible and Rock doesn't care.

Match #8
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs The Big Show and The Rock

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Even The Rock's pop wasn't as loud as expected. This crowd blows. The Rock immediately starts brawling with Big Show and knocks him out of the ring. That was not smart. Ass attacks Rock from behind and it's on. Dogg starts for the NAO. This is pretty much a handicap match. HHH, Xpac and Steph are on the stage on a couch. Dogg with generic brawling. Ass tags in. Rock with a neckbreaker for 2. Ass with a clothesline which the camera misses. Rock rolls outside and Dogg attacks him. Ass Irish whips Rock into Dogg for some reason and Dogg gets clotheslined. He sends Ass into the post but Dogg sends Rock into the steps. Rock is tossed back in and is pinned for a 2. Dogg with the Shake Rattle and Roll. Rock reverses into a Rockbottom but Ass breaks up the count. Ass is tagged in. "Big Show sucks" chant. Ass with a Jackhammer for 2. Goldberg is crying somewhere. Rock hits a spinebuster out of nowhere. Rock is tossed to the outside and Show attacks. He tosses Rock back in. Dogg gets a 2 count. The NAO go for a double team move but Rock counters by low blowing Dogg and slamming Ass. Show pulls Rock outside again and then begins attacking DX. Um, ref? Hello? Show with a huge powerslam to Ass. Dogg has a chair as does Rock. Rock hits Big Show with the chair. Ass pins him for 3 at 6:11. DX celebrate on the ramp. Rock hits a People's Elbow on Show while DX look on.

Pretty much a mess of a match. Hard to follow and pretty boring. 1/2*

Somewhat dull episode as they build to the Rumble. I enjoyed the Rikishi/Jericho match for what it was and seeing Prince Albert get squashed always warms my heart. But the main event blew and the production was really off for some reason. See you for the January 20th Smackdown!

WWF Sunday Night HEAT - 16/01/00

WWF Sunday Night HeAT - 16/01/00

- Standard HeAT opening video.

Match #1
Kurt Angle vs Christian

Angle cuts a promo before the match. He says he is still the only undefeated man in the company. He says many people are trying to break his streak. He seems to think this day is the biggest of Christian's life. He gets pissed at the fans chanting "asshole" and decides to stop talking. Fireman's Carry by Angle to start. Unprettier attempt reversed and a leg sweep takedown. Angle is tossed out of the ring. Nice springboard splash to the outside by Christian. Magistral Cradle gets 2. Angle sent into the top 'buckle. Tornado DDT is reversed. German suplex by Angle. Angle with punches in the corner and a foot choke. Scoop slam into a modified chinlock. Christian fights up and they both go for a crossbody and collide in mid air. Christian with a Russian leg sweep and a back body drop. Angle gets a boot up on a corner charge. Tornado DDT this time connects and Angle rolls out to catch his breath. He goes to leave and Christian stops him and brings him back in. Steve Blackman comes out and attacks Christian. Edge makes the save and drags Blackman up the ramp. Meanwhile, Christian hits the Unprettier but the ref was distracted by the fight at ringside. Angle hits an Olympic slam out of nowhere and gets the 3 at 4:25.

Good match. **

- Backstage with the Mean Street Posse. They are complaining about Kaientai and the fact they can't get a win from anywhere. They say they will attack Kaientai before the match.

Match #2
Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy and Mammaries vs Prince Albert w/ an upside down head

Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind from the top right at the start. Problem is, Albert fucked it up by standing too close and it looked pathetic. Hardy dropkicks Albert out. Hardy with a Swanton Bomb to the outside! Back in and a horrible looking sunset flip gets 2. Albert fights back and hits a shoulderblock. Slingshot into the middle rope by Albert. Military press as he just drops Hardy on his face. Double arm suplex gets 2. Corner charge misses and Hardy goes for a Frankensteiner. Albert counters into a huge sit out elevated powerbomb. Terri distracts the ref. Albert tries to call out the Bossman but he doesn't come down. Hardy hits him with some kind of object and gets the win at 3:21.

That pretty much blew chunks. 1/2*

- Backstage, the Posse run into Rikishi in the bathroom. He has seemingly unleashed the turd of doom as the Posse act disgusted. Rikishi gets pissed and attacks Rodney, the rest of the Posse attack but Rikishi scares them off. The camera pans to him and he for some reason is panting like a dog in mating season. What a strange segment.

- The Rock visits the Miami Hurricanes, his old college team.

Match #3
D'lo Brown w/ a bobbing head vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Dvon Dudley

Another #13 vignette airs on the screen. Bubba attacks before the bell. Shoulderblock by Bubba. Hiptoss and an arm drag by D'lo. Big back body drop by D'lo but he gets tossed out. Dvon attacks D'lo outside. Bubba goes out but gets thrown into the steps. Bubba gets tossed in. D'lo goes up and hits a crossbody for 2. Dvon grabs D'lo's leg and Bubba hits a back suplex. Suplex by Bubba gets 2. He shouts at the ref to count 3 but he stutters on the 3 and gets rolled up for 2. Pretty funny spot. Bubba with a lariat. Bubba with a headbutt to the groin. D'lo is tossed out and Dvon attacks. He tosses D'lo back in. Big slap to the chest by Bubba. And another. D'lo goes for a sunset flip and eventually gets him over for 2. Big sidewalk slam for Bubba gets another 2. Bubba misses a splash and D'lo hits a calf kick and a scoop slam. The leg drop gets 2. Forearm smash gets another 2 for D'lo. Frankensteiner is reversed into a powerbomb by Bubba. He hits a sitdown splash for 2. Scoop slam by Bubba. Dvon goes up to the top to go for the testicular headbutt and the ref gets him down. The ref sends Dvon backstage. Samoan drop by Bubba. Bubba goes up top and misses a senton. D'lo hits Sky High for 3 at 6:10.

Good, long match. **1/4

- Backstage with Rikishi and Too Cool. Rikishi tells Too Cool the Posses made fun of his ass and he wants payback. He threatens to sit on the Posse's face. Yes, I'm serious.

- A look back at the events of the last episode of RAW and Smackdown.

- Backstage with Tori at the coffee machine and Kaientai. They are speaking Japanese and Tori acts offended as though they are saying dirty things.

- The Holly's come down to ringside. Hardcore has a mic. He says the crowd need to shut up and listen to him. The announcers act bored. Hah, even the announcers hate Bob Holly. Holly says he beat Y2J and Chyna clean so he should be the IC champion. He says he doesn't give a rats ass who it is, but one of them should come out and accept his challenge. Chyna makes her way out. Chyna tells him she accepts. Chyna says she will kick Holly's ass. Jericho's music hits and he comes down. Jericho tells Chyna he has no doubt she is tough. However, he says he wants the shot at the Rumble, not Chyna. Holly says they both can't accept, so he proposes a triple threat match. Chyna accepts and so does Jericho. He starts to talk about his Jericholics but Holly interrupts him. He says there will never, EEEEVVVER, be any doubt that Holly will win at the Rumble.

- Hype video for the WWF title match at the Rumble.

Match #4
The Mean Street Posse vs Too Cool and Rikishi

Before the match Kane destroys Kaientai backstage. Too Cool and Rikishi will replace Kaientai I guess then. Too Cool attack before the bell. Pete Gas is immediately superkicked at the start. Rikishi with the ass charge into the corner and a belly-to-belly. Joey Abs runs in and gets a Rikishi Driver. Rodney is in. Too Cool attack him and hit the synchronized elbows. They drag Rodney to the corner and Rikishi hits a Banzai Drop for 3 at 1:31. Too Cool and Rikishi dance after the match.

Poor Posse. Fun squash match. 1/4*

Fun episode. 2 great TV matches and the Posse getting destroyed. What more do you want from an episode of HeAT? See you next time for the January 17th RAW!

WWF Smackdown - 13/01/00

WWF Smackdown - 13/01/00

- A recap video from the last episode of RAW is shown, showing the key points of the main event.

- We get the usual opening video.

- We are in Chicago Illinois for tonight's show.

- HHH and Stephanie make their way to the ring. "Asshole" chant as is the custom. Steph is on the mic and says she wants to clear up a misunderstanding. Crowd are really laying into them both, she can't even speak. She says that no WWF superstars will be leaving. She says they are confused that anyone would threaten to leave and that they are just and fair. She states only one McMahon runs this company now, and that is her. HHH gets the mic. He says after Monday he feels the need to apologise. He says he isn't apologising to the fans or the superstars who threatened to leave. He does apologise to DX however. He says it was all about tough love, and he wants to right the wrong. Tonight he will show them how sorry he is. He puts the New Age Outlaws in a handicap match against Bradshaw with No DQ. If Farooq interferes they lose their tag title shot at the Rumble. He also puts them in another handicap match against Farooq, again it's no DQ and if Bradshaw interferes they lose their title shot. He says himself and Xpac will face The Big Show and The Rock. He starts to talk about Mick Foley. He says he beat him on Monday night. He says at the Rumble he will beat Foley more than anyone has ever beat him before. He knows Foley is here and he calls him out to fight right now. Foley gets a great pop. Unfortunately it is the fake Mankind. He apologises for HHH being the best wrestler ever. HHH says he is the most pathetic person he has ever seen. The real Foley comes out to break up the parade. He says he has had enough. Big "Foley" chant. He asks HHH what more he wants from him. He reels off all the things HHH did to him. He says Mankind is entertaining, a good author and one tough S.O.B. However, he says Mankind is not ready to face HHH at the Rumble. Foley says the fans deserve a substitute on that match. His substitute is Cactus Jack! He takes off his white shirt to reveal a Cactus Jack shirt. Crowd are going apeshit for this. He gets in the ring and beats the hell out of HHH. Fake Mankind hits Jack and it has no effect. He throws Fake Mankind out the ring. He hits him with a baseball slide over the announce table. He jumps off the apron with the steel chair right into his face. He tells HHH to look into his eyes and realise that he will tear HHH apart in New York City. He says he will take the WWF title. Bang Bang!

Pretty legendary opening segment as Foley brings back his Cactus Jack persona. It really set the stage well for the Rumble.

- We look back at what happened moments ago.

Match #1
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs Bradshaw

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Dogg hits the catchphrases. Bradshaw throws powder in Dogg's face to start and sends Ass over the steps. Huge big boot for Dogg and he gets clotheslined over the top. He sends him over the announce table. Ass sent headfirst into it too. He tosses the steel steps into the ring. He goes for a piledriver on the steps but Dogg hits him with a chair and Ass escapes. Ass with the steps into Bradshaw's head. They stomp him down. Bradshaw gets whacked into the steps again. Chairshot by Dogg. Bradshaw tries a comeback but gets a DDT from Road Dogg. Ass with some pretty pathetic looking punches. Dogg gets a chair kicked into his head. Mr Ass goes for a crossbody in the corner but Bradshaw catches him. Dogg hits Bradshaw with the chair and Ass lands on him for the 3 at 2:59.

More of an angle than a match. 1/4*

- Coach interviews The Rock. This should be good. Rock starts with the usual. Coach goes to ask a question and is immediately interrupted. Rock asks Coach who he is. Coach tells him his name is Jonathan Coachman. Rock welcomes him to The Rock's show. I think this was Coach's debut. Coach says his friends call him Coach and Rock cracks a joke about coaching a little girls team. Coach asks him how he feels about teaming with Big Show. Rock says it doesn't matter as long as he gets HHH. Rock does say however what better partner could he have than the 7 foot Big Show. Rock has a question for Coach: How did he come up with the nickname Coach? He goes to answer and of course it doesn't matter etc. Rock finishes with the usual.

Match #2
Too Cool and Rikishi vs Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly and Al Snow w/ Head

Snow takes 4 millenniums to get to the ring. Hardcore starts with Sexay. Shoulderblock by Holly. Sexay replies with his own. Inverted atomic drop and a clothesline for Holly. Arm drag by Sexay. Hardcore tags in Crash and he gets hiptossed. Sexay with a sit out powerbomb. Scotty tags in. Shoulderblock by Scotty. Nice pumphandle suplex by Scotty. Scotty with the bulldog and it's Worm time. The Worm hits. Snow grabs Scotty's leg and pulls him out. Into the steps and he is shoved back in. Hardcore tags in. Suplex by Holly. He goes up top and gets a boot to the face on the way down. Hot tag time and Rikishi is in. Rikishi is destroying Crash. Nice flapjack into a cutter. Kick for Snow. Hardcore with a dropkick. Rikishi no sells and hits a belly-to-belly. Rikishi Driver will get 3 at 4:15. Snow beats The Holly's after the match with Head again. This storyline is pretty funny with Snow constantly being on losing teams but never actually being pinned. Too Cool dance of course after the match.

Formula 6 man tag, but still pretty fun. *

- Backstage with DX. They notice Xpac isn't there.

- Video of Cactus Jack in Japan is played, with him getting hit with flaming bits of wood and the like.

Match #3
Gangrel w/ Luna vs Test

Test gets a good pop. He could have been pretty big if they used him right. Test with a shoulderblock. Gangrel gets his feet up on a corner charge. Nice belly-to-belly suplex by Gangrel. Test tossed outside. Luna with a few cheapshots. Scoop slam and 2 elbows gets 2 for Gangrel. Test fights back and hits a big boot. Gutwrench powerbomb but Luna distracts the ref. Gangrel with a small package for 2. Gangrel with an elbow and he has his feet on the ropes for a 2. Test with a huge full nelson suplex. Luna pulls the ref out. Luna clotheslines the ref while Test hits Gangrel with a belly-to-belly. Luna jumps on Test's back and he attempts to spank her(!) Gangrel cheapshots him and the ref calls for the DQ at 2:37. Luna slaps Test after and she gets a pumphandle slam. Test slams Gangrel and hits an elbow from the top. Test wins by DQ.

Meh. 1/2*

- Backstage with Chyna and Y2J. Chyna says she isn't upset about the match on Monday. She wants to let bygones be bygones. Jericho agrees.

- We look back at earlier with the Cactus Jack reveal.

Match #4
The Hardy Boyz w/ tits vs WWF Hardcore Champion The Big Bossman and Prince Albert

Bossman and Albert look pissed with each other before the match. Albert and Jeff start. Albert is just destroying Jeff with punches and chokes. Jeff slips out of a powerslam and tags in Matt. Double synchronised elbows gets 2. Albert with a military press into dropping Jeff on the rope. Albert hits a nice modified Canadian backbreaker of some sort. Bossman in. He just tosses Matt across the ring. He drops the leg across the back of the head while he is on the second rope. Bossman goes out and grabs Terri but Jeff saves her. Back in, Bossman goes for a powerbomb and Matt slips out into the Twist Of Fate. Hot tag and here comes Jeff. Dropkick and Albert accidentally charges Bossman in the corner. Poetry In Motion for Bossman and Albert but Bossman catches him and slam Jeff down. Bicycle kick hits on Matt but they argue and Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Albert. Jeff then rolls up Bossman from behind for the 3 at 3:24. Bossman attacks the Hardy's after and runs after Albert. They start beating each other on the outside. Hah, some refs come down and Bossman just takes one of their heads off with an uppercut. They eventually get split up.

- Earlier tonight, Big Show talks to Lilian about his match later. Show was unhappy with Rock on Monday after he said he would win the rumble. He says he will be professional tonight, but he dislikes The Rock.

- Backstage with Chyna and Tori. Chyna says they need to talk.

Match #5
Kurt Angle and Steve Blackman vs Edge and Christian

Edge and Steve start off. Edge with a dropkick after a sequence of reversals. Blackman shoves Edge down and hops up top. He missed an elbow and gets dropkicked again. Christian in. Christian leaps off Edge's back and hits a forearm for 2. Blackman tags in Angle. Christian with a hiptoss and a dropkick. Christian gets sent into the ring post. Blackman attacks Christian outside. Angle shoves him back in. Snap suplex gets 2. He locks in the CHINLOCK OF DEATH. Christian fights back up. Reverse DDT by Christian after Angle tried the Olympic Slam. Hot tag and Blackman and Edge are in. Huge bicycle kick by Blackman. Val Venis appears on the titantron. He distracts Blackman and that allows Christian to hit a missile dropkick and Edge rolls him up for 3 at 3:37.

Match was fine. *1/4

- Chyna is with Tori. Chyna tells Tori Jericho fantasises about her all the time. Tori leaves disgusted.

(I should point out at this point my version of the show has a Slim Jim commercial in it. Sadly only Macho Man's voice is heard but oh well.)

- More highlights of Cactus Jack, this time from his dumpster match with the New Age Outlaws.

Match #6
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs Farooq

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. AGAIN. Farooq interrupts the catchphrases. You bastard! Farooq eats boot on a corner charge but he is rolling. Powerslam for Mr Ass and spinebuster for Dogg. Mr Ass with a back suplex. Farooq shoulderblocks both of the Outlaws. Dogg escapes from a powerbomb and Mr Ass hits a jackhammer. Goldberg: GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT. EPILEPTIC KNEEDROP OF DEATH and a double cover gets 3 at 1:15? Someone actually got pinned by the EPILEPTIC KNEEDROP OF DEATH!? Weird. Bradshaw runs out with a lead pipe and cleans house.

The match was a DUD of course, but hey, remember when WWE actually spent time building tag team feuds? Now they just alternate it between random midcarders and some combination of The Nexus.

(Same Slim Jim commercial btw.)

- Backstage with DX, again no Xpac.

Match #7
The Godfather and D'lo Brown w/ Ho's vs The Headbangers w/ no bra thank Christ

D'lo looks completely ridiculous. Another #13 vignette is shown on the titantron before the match. Hmmm, how odd, the guy speaking has a New York accent. The Royal Rumble is in New York City, Madison Square Garden no less. I wonder who this could be!? Anyway, Godfather is on the mic and asks the Headbangers what the deal is with them. Mosh says they look better than the Godfathers "Trolls" do. The Ho's leave the ring. Mosh attacks D'lo and we are underway. D'lo leaps up top and hits a crossbody. 2 calf kicks connect. Godfather tags in. Mosh escapes a kick and tags in Thrasher. Godfather with comical looking punches. Seriously, they looked fucking awful. Lariat and scoop slam for Godfather. 360 leg drop and tag in to D'lo. Double suplex hits. Mosh distracts D'lo and Thrasher tosses him outside. Mosh attacks and throws him back in. Tag to Mosh and a double flapjack. Mosh misses a corner charge and a back suplex connects for D'lo. Hot tag to Godfather. Thrasher in as well. Slam for Mosh. He gets clotheslined out. Ho Train time for Thrasher. D'lo tags in and hits the Lo Down for 3 at 3:06. The Ho's come in after and celebrate.

Formula tag match. Nothing bad, nothing particularly good. 3/4*

- Backstage with Coach interviewing Rock and Show. Show tells Rock to stay out of his way. Show leaves. Rock says Show is not and will never be the People's Champion. He promises to layeth the smacketh down on their candy asses. If you smell etc

- Another look at Cactus Jack. It shows a handicap match against Terry Funk and Viscera. Lots of chair shots and garbage can shots. How the hell is Mick Foley not dead? Seriously, it amazes me.

Match #8
Kane w/ Tori vs WWF Co-Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho

Jericho has a mic. He tells Kane he has no problem wrestling him. He says Tori is a liar and that Chyna is manipulating Kane. Jericho tells Kane Tori is unattractive and you would have to be retarded to like her. This is hilarious. He is digging a pretty big hole for himself. He basically keeps insulting Tori and then states "NO I DIDN'T MEAN THAT" and then goes on to something else. Pretty funny stuff. Kane begins with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Chyna is seen backstage laughing. Jericho gets his feet up on a corner charge. Flying forearm by Jericho but he gets powerbombed hard to the mat. Clothesline from the top by Kane. He rolls outside. Kane leaps off the steps but misses. Kane tosses Jericho back in. Jericho snaps Kane's neck on the top rope and hits a springboard dropkick. Baseball slide misses and Kane hits an uppercut. Kane has the steps but they miss. Drop toe hold by Jericho and Kane hits the other set of steps. Back in, missile dropkick hits. Walls of Jericho attempt but Chyna comes down to distract him. Kane grabs Jericho and hits the chokeslam. Tombstone is signalled and that gets 3 at 3:22. Kat runs down afterwards and grabs the IC title belt.

Match was decent. *1/2

- HHH and Xpac backstage. Xpac is skeptical of HHH.

- WWF Slam of the Week shows the Pedigree through the table from RAW on Monday.

Match #9
WWF Champion Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley and Xpac vs The Rock and The Big Show

HHH has a mic. He guesses Rock will walk out after Show because of his ego. Show interrupts HHH with his music. HHH was right then. HHH and Show start. Show overpowers HHH. HHH fires back but gets headbutted. HHH is sent into the buckle and straight into a sidewalk slam. Show refuses to tag Rock. Xpac tries to attack Show but gets caught. Show charges them both in the corner and tosses them both across the ring. Show again ignores Rock. HHH with the facebuster. Show with a powerslam. Show signals for the chokeslam but Rock blindtags. Show is pissed. Rock lays the smackdown on HHH and Xpac. Xpac tossed out. Spinebuster for HHH. People's Elbow is interrupted by an Xpac chairshot while Show inadvertently distracted the ref. Pac tags in. Bronco buster is cut off by a huge lariat. Spinning heel kick gets 2 for Xpac. HHH tags in. HHH chokes Rock in the corner. Rock begins the comeback. Double clothesline and both men are down. Show goes to shout at Xpac and moves accidentally when Rock wants the tag. HHH drops some elbows. Xpac tags in. Big chops hit. Kicks in the corner floors Rock. HHH back in. Nice suplex for 2. Rock hits a DDT out of nowhere. Show refuses the tag and drops off the apron. He distracts the ref and HHH hits a low blow and the Pedigree for 3 at 6:27. After the match Show hits a chokeslam on The Rock.

OK main event. A strong heel turn for Show and some decent action. **

Have to say, pretty meh episode in all honesty. Pretty dull wrestling all around save for 1 or 2 matches and some of it was pure filler. Also way too many tag matches for my liking. I recommend the opening segment however, as it was a great moment to see Foley bring back the Cactus Jack gimmick. Main event was fine as well. Recommend you avoid a majority of the midcard matches though. See you soon for the January 13th HeAT.

WWF RAW is WAR - 10/01/00

WWF RAW is WAR - 10/01/00

- Usual opening video to start us off.

- We are live from St. Louis Missouri.

- Pretty much the entire roster comes out to ringside to start us off. King has a heart attack when he sees Terri and her huge.....umm....yeah. The Big Show takes hours to get to the ring of course. The Rock's music hits and here is The Great One. Camera cuts backstage to DX and they have no idea what is happening. Finally come back St Louis etc. Rock says he is the spokesman for everyone at ringside. Rock claims he isn't very good at public speaking. He then calls HHH's candy ass to the ring. DX argue backstage and they refuse to go with him. Rock calls out HHH's "rootie poo candy ass" again. HHH comes out on stage with Steph. Steph has a mic and is getting the shit booed out of her. And we have a "slut" chant. Classy stuff. Steph wants to work something out. Rock offers to give Steph something she has needed for a long time: she should know her role etc. Rock says we need to talk about Mick Foley. Rock says if they don't meet his demands, every superstar will walk out and form the WRF: The World Rock Federation. Rock demands Foley is reinstated. Huge "Foley" chant. HHH reinstates him on the spot and says they were going to do it anyway. Rock has another demand: he wants to stop being put into various unfair matches. Steph says it seems fair. More "slut" chants. Rock: "Sounds like 15'000 Rock fans calling you a slut". Rock says he wants a promise that no one is fired again without "just due, jabroni". Foley's music hits and he comes out of the crowd in full Mankind attire. Foley gets on the mic. He acknowledges the dozens (and dozens) of his fans. He thanks Rock and gets in a cheap plug about Rock's new book. He condemns HHH for making fun of him and his family. Foley wants HHH at the Royal Rumble. He wants to add stipulations at a later date. He wants an answer right now. HHH agrees, and we have our main event for the PPV. Rock interrupts Foley. Rock includes himself in the Royal Rumble match. Gee, what a shock. Rock says he will take out 29 other jabroni's and will go to Wrestlemania to face YOU (points at HHH) or YOU (points at Foley). Foley hits THE CHEAP POP OF DOOM. Foley wants to talk about this evening. He suggests we have Mr Ass vs Road Dogg to find out the toughest man in the New Age Outlaws. Foley says we should find out if Xpac is tougher than HHH, so we also have Xpac vs HHH later. Xpac is shown backstage with a huge grin on his face. Rock says that they aren't finished there. He sets up a match of DX vs The Acolytes. HHH is happy about this of course. Rock says however, there is a catch. He says The Acolytes won't be alone, they will have The Rock and Sock Connection teaming with him. If you smell etc.

Long opening segment, but it served its purpose well.

- Backstage with DX after the break and they are PISSED.

- Sign: Stephanie is a slut. We get it.

Match #1
WWF Tag Team Champion Road Dogg vs WWF Tag Team Champion Mr Ass

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Dogg hits the catchphrases. Sign: Break me off a piece of that Mr Ass. WHAT!? Billy Gunn looked WAY too comfortable shaking his ass. Lockup to start. Clean break and the crowd doesn't like it. Another lockup and clean break. Mr Ass cheap shots him however. Dogg sent headfirst to the 'buckle. Foot choke in the corner. Ass with the knee drop for 2. We have the NECK BREAKING CHINLOCK by Ass. Road Dogg is playing the face? Alright then. Mr Ass stops the comeback with a knee to the stomach. Dogg gets tossed out of the ring. Dogg dropped on the barrier. Dogg comes back in the ring with the Shake Rattle and Roll and hits the EPILEPTIC KNEEDROP OF DEATH for 2. Mr Ass with a jackhammer. Goldberg: GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT. Ass hits a corner splash. Fameasser is reversed into a shitty looking slam for 3 at 4:29!? What the fuck!?  Mr Ass refuses a handshake after the match.

That sucked. 1/4*

- Backstage with Mankind. He has the fake Mankind tied on a chair. He basically shouts a lot.

- Hardys and Terri backstage. They sign up for a match backstage.

Match #2
Kurt Angle and Steve Blackman vs The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri's nipples

Angle cuts a promo. He says he beats people with winning records, unlike the Rams. Angle and Matt to start. Brawling to start. Back suplex and a neckbreaker gets 2 for Matt. Jeff tagged in. Poetry In Motion connects for 2. Angle fires back and tags in Blackman. Nice sequence that ends with an Asai moonsault to the outside on Blackman. Headscissors attempt is blocked and Jeff gets swung into the steps. Ouch. That gets 2 back in the ring. Angle in. He goes for a superplex but is knocked to the apron. Dropkick connects to Angle. Matt tagged in and it's clotheslines galore. Blackman hits a nice superkick. Angle tossed out by Jeff. Blackman has his kendo stick. Jeff hits a missile dropkick from behind and Matt hits the Twist of Fate for 3 at 3:26.

That was good. *1/2

- Backstage with Mankind and the fake Mankind. More random shouting and laughing.

- Edge and Christian are backstage. They ramble.

- Jericho, Chyna and Kat are backstage. Jericho tells Chyna to sign up for a match with the Holly's.

Match #3 - WWF European Championship match
WWF European Champion Val Venis w/ A big penis vs Edge w/ Christian

Val has the mic. He mentions his sister is engaged to Edge. He says Edge cannot win the Euro title. Some vignette airs on the titantron just featuring the number 13. Gee, wonder who that is? ;) Val with the back elbow. Frankensteiner gets 2 for Edge. Edge gets the boot up on a corner charge but Val hits a spinebuster for 2. Val with the corner clotheslines for 2. Edge hits the sleeper. Val reverses into a sit out powerbomb for another 2. Val with snake eyes on the top rope for another near fall. Neckbreaker attempt reversed into a DDT by Edge. Inverted atomic drop and lariat by Edge. Big back body drop and Edge goes up top. Missile dropkick connects and Edge is rolling. Downward Spiral gets 2 thanks to a foot on the ropes. Edge accidentally spears the buckle and Fisherman's suplex will get 3 at 3:41 to retain the title. Edge shakes Val's hand after and he has the mic. He tells Val he may have been the best man tonight, but he won't be at his sisters wedding. He says Christian will be and Val seems fine with it.

Solid title match. Nothing bad, nothing amazingly good, just decent. **

- Backstage with DX. More arguing.

Match #4
WWF Co-intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho and Chyna w/ WWF Womens Champion The Kat vs Crash and Hardcore Holly

Jericho welcomes us to RAW Is Jericho. He says himself and Chyna will destroy The Holly's. He says he got a bigger response than Chyna. Chyna looks pissed at that. Y2J and Hardcore to start. Holly with the shoulderblock. Y2J with a flying forearm. Chops and the bulldog. Chyna tags in. Double back body drop hits. Crash tags in. Lariat by Chyna. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ and a back elbow connects. Another lariat but Crash blind tags Hardcore. They hit a version of The Hart Attack and that gets 2. Hardcore with a scoop slam and a tag. Crash goes up but eats boot in the genitals. Y2J gets distracted and can't make the tag to Chyna. Falcon Arrow gets 3 at 2:50. Jericho leaves with the belt after.

Bleh. Hardcore Holly had such a crappy finisher back then. 3/4*

- Mankind and fake Mankind backstage. He chucks coffee in fake Mankind's face.

- HHH and Xpac backstage. They say nothing of note.

Match #5
Xpac vs WWF Champion Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley

Chain wrestling to start. HHH with the choking in the corner. Xpac with the spinning heel kick. And another. He clotheslines HHH out. Baseball slide by Xpac. Chops on the outside. Xpac gets flapjacked onto the table. Back in, HHH hits the facebuster. Pedigree attempt is reversed with the low blow. Xpac with the kicks in the corner and the Bronco Buster. He goes up top but Steph crotches him and he falls down. Pedigree will get 3 at 3:13.

Pretty much the definition of "it'll do". *

- DX complaining about HHH backstage.

Match #6
Too Cool and Rikishi vs The Headbangers and Al Snow

Mosh and Sexay start. No bra this week thank God. Sexay with the kick on a corner charge. Snow pulls Scotty off the apron. Mosh and Thrasher in with a double team. Thrasher in now with Sexay. Snow tagged in. Snow with a lariat. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ and the tag to Thrasher. Sexay with a powerslam. Hot tag to Rikishi. Mosh in as well and he gets kicked in the face. Belly to belly for Thrasher. Banzai drop for Thrasher and Rikishi Driver for Mosh gets 3 at 2:21. Snow attacks Headbangers with Head after the match. Too Cool and The 'Kish dance to celebrate.

Match was fine. 3/4*

- Fake Mankind and Mankind again. Mankind threatens to make the fake one watch an hour of Al Snow matches. Ouch. He unties the fake one and says if he does anything again he will hunt him down. He tells him to wait in his dressing room.

Match #7
The Godfather and D'Lo Brown w/ Ridiculous attire and Ho's vs The Dudley Boyz

Godfather hits the catchphrases. Or at least, he tries to until the Dudleys interrupt. Bubba starts with Godfather. Hip toss by Godfather. D'lo tagged in. Double elbow and the calf kick. Scoop slam but leg drop misses. Powerbomb by Bubba and he hits Godfather. Ref is distracted and the testicular headbutt hits. Dvon in now. Spinning elbow hits for Dvon. Suplex gets 2. Bubba tagged in. Bubba with the slap to the chest. D'lo with Sky High. Hot tag to Godfather. Back body drop for them both. Ho Train hits on Dvon. Tag to D'lo. Lo Down interrupted by Bubba dragging Dvon out. They try to steal the Ho's and the bell rings? I'll say double countout at 3:18.

Definition of filler. 1/2*

- Mankind tries to talk to Tori. He says he loves Tori's breasts. WHAT!?

- Tori is seen with Kane. She says Mankind touched her. Kane goes into the dressing room and assaults the fake Mankind. Heh. That Mick Foley, what a smart man. He is just getting raped by Kane. He escapes outside.

- DX backstage AGAIN. More arguing.

- Promo for The Big Show airs. Lots of roaring and Chokeslams.

Match #8
Test and The Big Show vs WWF Hardcore Champion The Big Bossman and Prince Albert

So wait, Bossman cost Albert a match on HeAT and they are now partners again? Ok. Pier 6 brawl to start. Bossman and Albert get sent into each other. Albert goes for the Baldo Bomb but Show kicks Bossman into him and inadvertently breaks it up. Show tosses Bossman out and Test big boots Albert. Test goes up and hits his elbow for the 3 at 0:56. Albert and Bossman get into a shouting match but Show comes back and chokeslams both of them. You see, he's big and stuff. And a show.

Just a squash. DUD

- Backstage and the Main event is coming up. The participants are seen walking.

Match #9
WWF Champion Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley, WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws and Xpac vs The Rock and Sock Connection and The Acolytes

This will be hard to call. Mr Ass and The Rock will start us off. DX are arguing in their corner. Staredown ensues. Rock immediately lays the smackdown in the corner. Neckbreaker by Ass out of nowhere. Hah, Mr Ass tells the ref to "fuck off" pretty audibly. Ass hits some big rights. Choke on the rope by Ass. Samoan drop for Ass. Dogg comes in and gets spinebustered and Mr Ass gets a Rockbottom. Xpac breaks it up and gets clotheslined over the top. Bradshaw is tagged in. TEH CLUBBING BLOWZ land but Dogg hits a flying forearm. Bradshaw destroys Road Dogg with a big boot. Dogg gets the hell out of there and tags in Xpac. He fares no better. Bradshaw misses a corner charge and gets hit with the kicks.  Crossbody is reversed into a fallaway slam. Farooq is tagged in. More CLUBBING BLOWZ. Headbutt gets 2. Spin kick by Xpac. Farooq with a huge rib breaker for 2. Rock tagged in again. Pac into the 'buckle a few times. Farooq back in. He crotch chops Xpac! Awesome. Dominator is reversed into a DDT. HHH and Mankind in. Foley all over HHH. He hits the punches and the running knee in the corner. Crowd loving it here. HHH with the facebuster. DX drop off the apron when HHH tries to tag out. HHH goes apeshit. He turns around and gets clotheslined. Rock and Acolytes brawl with DX up the ramp and to the back. Just Mankind and HHH left. Mankind hits the double arm DDT and here comes Socko. Steph grabs Foleys leg and Mankind tried to put the Mandible Claw on her but HHH stops him. HHH sends Mankind out and he checks on Steph. Mankind sent headfirst into the steps and announce table. Belt shot sends Mankind over the table. HHH on the table brawling with Mankind. Pedigree through the table! Mankind tossed back in. HHH hits the Pedigree again for 3 at 10:26. HHH attacks after the bell. Mankind responds with a forearm. Mankind is bleeding. He has the steel steps and he hits HHH right in the face. He hits him with part of the announce table. He hiptosses HHH through another part of the announce table. He tosses HHH back in the ring and hits the Cactus clothesline to the outside. HHH won the battle, but lost the war here.

Great main event, nice angle development and non stop action. ***

Show started off a little slow but quickly picked up. Good storyline with the wrestlers threatening to leave and a great main event. Not sure what the point of the Test/Show vs Bossman/Albert match was other than to tease Albert and Bossman falling out, but I don't think the crowd really cared. Overall, a good effort this week. See you for the January 13th episode of Smackdown!